I am practically anti-go-home right now. It would be easy for someone on the outside looking in to say my reason lies in the drama of the past few months, but they'd be wrong. I know it could look that way. I know it could look as if my dissatisfaction with middle Georgia lies within drama of all sorts, from family to friends to work to life in general there...but it doesn't.
What constitutes "home" to us? Maybe "home is where the heart is." Merriam-Webster gives a hand full of definitions. one's place of residence. the social unit formed by a family living together. a familiar or usual setting. a place of origin, headquarters. an establishment providing residency and care for people with special needs.
Okay, I know the last one applies. =D
But that's not what I'm getting at.
A home to me is this: It IS where my heart is. A home is where you grow, where you are nurtured and fed. Home is the place where you feel most comfortable, but are most stretched outside of those comfort zones. Home is where you are challenged and loved.
Home. Home for me is here. Rome.
Yes, I'm most comfortable here. I own this place. I live here. I am here. My life is here.
Yes, I am most challenged here. I have no idea what I'm doing, but God still makes it happen. I am selfish and greedy, but God has called me to give nonetheless. And give abundantly. I am an outsider here...but I'm an outsider with other outsiders...and together we are family.
We are family.
They are my family.
I am stretched here to bring my heart, my brokenness, the frayed pieces of my string-of-a-life, and lay them down in order to do for God. In order to be all for Him. I'm called to open my hands and let go of all I've held on to in order to catch the righteousness He is raining down on me. I am inspired by so many people here - both in my church and outside of it. I am challenged by my Bible study girls. I am inspired by their love for God and desire to seek Him. I'm also inspired and comforted by their humanity and how they live for God, even when they're broken and a mess.
When you find a place where you connect to God...when you find a place where, even in your cluelessness, you KNOW what He's called you for.....you are where you should be.
God calls us out of places and to other places. My earthly home might change sometime in the future...but right now.
this...this is home.