30 November 2010

It wasn't because you weren't awesome

I think we often base our greatness on the opinions of others - whether we got "the job" or made "the grade" or how we measure up in the eyes of those around us. Are we as good as that girl? She's super involved and her essays always impress people.
Why does that matter?
What really matters?

:You know my name and You know my story: - Detour180

29 November 2010

heaven in CD-R form

Of course I have homework to do, but I'm just not going to right now. After giving BC an hour after lunch to figure out where my package was (they hadn't lost it, I'm just not patient), I have it in my hands. Well, technically it's beside my keyboard here at work, but it's in my possession.

Christmas has become more and more controversial over the past few years. My family struggles financially, but mom always wants to buy what we want, or just enough to appease us. Christmas is technically pagan. Very pagan.
I can hear your sighs. Why am I getting into this? I'm not sure, but I have a few things to say and I want to say them without someone interrupting. This seems to be my best option.

Thanksgiving is pagan, too. In essence, nothing is worshiped besides the heavenly sweet potato souffle and warm feeling of being with family and falling shortly into a nap the size of a bear's hibernation. Don't get me started on Black Friday.
Fourth of July celebrates the founding of this country - a country "founded" on "Christian" beliefs. Though it has fallen far from these God-centered views, we still celebrate it, defend it, and honor it. Veteran's day and Memorial day are far from religiously centered. We don't sacrifice to idols, but we sure do build monuments to the dead. Shrines, if you will. We still celebrate their lives and honor their deaths almost as if they were deities.
Christmas is pagan with a Messianic twist. Pagan worship twisted and turned, shaken and stirred, to focus on the Messiah. We build temporary monuments - trees, mounds of presents, nativity scenes. We dress up. We listen to special music. We gather.

We scatter.

There are undertones to Christmas that I dislike with a passion. The blatant consumerism and materialism slathered on top of the ignorant Christian "reasons for the season" distorts the distortion into a harsh reality. Confusing? Would satan have it any other way? Yet, consequently, Christmas coincides with the celebration of Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, and many other religious celebrations, none of which are quite Biblical, yes?
I'm not knocking any of them, but rather attempting to bring us all to the same level - imperfect and quiet clueless.

I love giving gifts more than almost anything else. I love writing cards, sending letters, wrapping packages, and knowing the person on the other end is going to feel special...they are special. Does this have to be done in winter, amidst the bustle of other gift-giving religious holidays? No. It's just emphasized now. I've been known to give "___day presents" and all sorts of other gifts, but there's something special about giving gifts in December.

Knock Christmas, Kwanzaa, Hanukkah, and any other religious holiday if you wish, but don't be a scrooge.
Conformity and peaceful relations are not the same thing.

If you haven't checked out John Mark McMillan's The Medicine, I definitely recommend it. It's a beautiful blend of good lyrics, musical talent, and a powerful love.

thankful thought

I can't begin to describe how wonderful it is to be back in Rome once more.
I love this place, seriously. It's become home - even when I thought it couldn't be. God is doing great things, even amidst the pain and confusion Satan tries to destroy us with.
Man oh man I am blessed.
Rome/Berry College, it's good to be back.

27 November 2010


I get the feeling that my family is somehow abnormal and it's not exactly my extended family, but my involvement with them.
See, I have three Thanksgivings.
That's right. Three.
Thursday is always at my aunt's house - the one who gave me my middle name. I bear it with pride. Maybe one day I'll live up to the awesomeness she's given it. My immediate family, her immediate family, my grandparents, and her husbands extended family ALL get together at her house. I've never eaten so much green bean casserole in my life, but WOW. It was delicious. That's probably one of my most favorite dishes. I don't understand why we wait until Thanksgiving or Christmas to have it. Sometime around 2 or so every thanksgiving afternoon, we slip into a coma - on the couch, in a chair, somewhere on the floor. Inevitably, it happens. We sleep for hours.
This year, I woke up and went to coffee. Starbucks was honoring the sabbath of American holidays by closing its doors, but Steak & Shake is always available, of course. The coffee was delicious and the conversation was more wonderful. (Throw in a little fruit ninja here and there)
Friday is usually Thanksgiving at my Granny's house. Since my Papa died 2 years ago, we've had it at my aunt's house to relieve Granny of some stress. Who wants to clean their house for 35 to 40 family members to come over?! She's also trying to sort through things so it's just easier to have it at my aunt & uncle's brand new house. Our cars line the street. Praise the Lord there's only one house on their street right now. We used the parking lot at the elementary school across from my Granny's house for years. We have that many family members on my dad's side. It's incredible. Thirteen grandkids. Not to mention extended family - my Granny's sister & her husband, their kids and grandkids, and more that are related, but I'm not quite sure how. My Aunt June, Granny's sister and practically her twin, made the most heavenly sweet potato souffle I've ever had in my entire life. There were pecans on top. I'm not a fan. But these practically melted in my mouth. Marvelous. After stuffing myself once more, Kyndal and I loaded up for some coffee at  wonderful place down the road - BareBulb Coffee. Delicious. I miss working in a coffee shop. More so, I miss having something BESIDES Starbucks!! Their coffee has morphed over time into mechanized, flavorless liquid. It truly doesn't have the depth, boldness, and all-around flavor of a coffee shop - both in atmosphere and in coffee! It's incredible that these people have opened a shop and are thriving. I'm excited to see how God uses them!! If you're in middle Georgia or maybe just driving through - definitely check this place out. It's worth it.
After some wonderful Pumpkin Spice coffee (more information on the Jesus Fall Collection to come) and conversation with Kynnie and Matt, I spent a good two hours jamming out on the guitar with my ever-so-talented uncle. It was ridiculous. Probably one of the most awesome times of my life. I'm not good. Well, I'm okay, but not as good as he is BY FAR, but we played some grand songs and just...played. It was fabulous and it WILL happen again - soon. If not tomorrow night (GO DAWGS!)
Speaking of football, did I mention how ridiculous my family is? For a few minutes, I thought we were waiting to start dinner until the Iron Bowl was over (complementary colors won. I knew it!), but we were really waiting for some other family to get there. I still think that was a cover. We're all such SEC fans. However, most of them were rooting for Bama. Dumb Dumb Dumb. I also called Auburn's 2nd-half-comeback. Skills, I tell you. Skills.

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving #3 - the Wilsons. My grandmother's family. Yep. I'm quite serious. Her brothers & sisters still get together with their families for a huge feast. When my great-grandmother was still alive, it was regularly on the Saturday before Thanksgiving (and Christmas), but since her death it's been sporadic. Tomorrow....we're having spaghetti. I've never been so excited in my life.
Spaghetti is my all-time favorite.

I'm thankful for huge family. Seriously. I wouldn't have it any other way. God is so good.

26 November 2010

everything looks different when I wake up

I've been tagged in those "30 random things about you" posts on Facebook. It's a bit too much effort for me to grasp for 30 things about me to tell the world. There are a few things I've noticed lately that I want to share...just not on facebook.

1. My world looks different in the morning. The thoughts I had the night before have probably changed and seem less important, less rational, and less me. This will change throughout the day. I'm not bipolar, I just think differently at night time.
2. I don't constantly think about being in relationships with boys. That's dumb. But when the idea is presented to me, I can't help but think of it in a long-term sort of way. I chalk it up to the huge list of engagements and weddings I am or will be involved in over the next two years. It's pretty intense. My roommate from last year just got engaged. It was precious, but definitely makes you think.
3. My happy place is purple, so I've heard, and I love pairing mustard yellow with that.
4. Jude and I are best friends.

17 November 2010

story of my life

This is the second verse & chorus to Trip Lee's "Yours To Own."

You placed me in the city that I'm in for a reason
Sent folks in my life that was friends for a season
Some exposed my flaws and my sin - it wasn't pleasin'
And others fell from the faith & was leavin'
If I respond wrong I'm dishonoring Your grace
And I'm kind of just a product of my mind and not the faith
But You are my Father - the Refiner, full of grace
And You're the designer of my time and in my place
I could take the easy route and follow all the trends
Of my brothers and my sisters, pastors and my friends
It probably wouldn't lead to a disaster in the end
But I can't be followin' the path You givin' them
Yup, you made me me, with my own set of gifts
So I won't settle for less You bless You never miss
I'll be steward who You made me, steward where You place me
And I pray that You use me like crazy.
ALL of my life is Yours to own, You orchestrate it all along
And if my life is a cup come fill it up so the whole world can see
what YOU've done.

I can't even begin to explain how this whole entire song completely fits my life right now. I don't know why God put it on my heart tonight, but He did and it really just spoke. The most powerful line - if I respond wrong, I'm dishonoring Your grace. WHAT? WOW.

16 November 2010


They say a picture is a thousand words, but I'm not quite sure I can put enough words on this little post to justify the greatness of our God's display in this picture.
Abigail and I were walking from Deerfield to her car - really only a few yards - when the wind started to blow in a roar. I'd seen the sky on the way home from work and knew the sunset was going to be explosive, but didn't imagine this. We took a picture of this really big leaf (probably the size of my face or bigger) and then sprinted to her car. Right before we got in, I looked up at the sky (obviously. Sometimes my whole head stays there) and I saw the most incredible yellows and oranges and browns and pinks and mauves all mixed together in a sky-explosion.
Sometimes I think God just wants to say, "I.AM.HERE."

14 November 2010

If I could categorize this weekend in one word

it would be "Crayola" for more reasons than I can begin to count on my face.
Tons of coloring occurred Saturday while at the really awesome football extravaganza in the Ballroom. I wore my Crayola pants today while I painted.
Friday was spent outside for the most part. I napped for a little while like it was early September and winter was still far in the distance. My favorite naps happen outside. Susan and I went to dinner afterward and then to Hoop Madness aka pep rally for basketball season that was both entertaining and highly boring all in one sitting. They had Clark-ATL's drumline come in which pulled at my heartstrings and made me miss Kam, Colton, Cody, Reggie, and so many more cats from the good ol' PHS. I have to say, those were definitely some of the funnest times ever. Band. It seems cliche and maybe quite nerdy, but I enjoyed it. It was my first true experience in "family" outside of my blood family. I would go as far as to call them my mishpochah at the time because they truly were my spiritual family. I lived and breathed with those people. I don't think too many people will understand what I mean if I say, "Off.and down," or how we all know the exact pause between those words to make it uniform. It's a breath. It's a passion. It was awesome.
And here I am rambling. Can you tell I'm tired? I've spent all day working on one project or another and I'm still not quite done. I've been writing a 4 page essay on Haggai and the difference between post-exilic and pre-exilic prophets in the Bible. I only meant to make it 3 pages, but it all came out in 4 so that's alright. I spent a good bit of time working on my latest mistake - a self-portrait assignment for painting class - and still left angry. Thursday was a good day in class and I felt rather comfortable with the outcome, but I left the studio today with my butt on my shoulders because it wasn't working the way I wanted it to. I was happy with it until I realized I was a bit too tan for the liking of my professor.
So what? I wanna be black.
I still have a 500 word reaction paper due for my British Literature class, but it will have to wait until the morning. I'm about to shower and get in the Word before crashing...I may just skip the shower until tomorrow as well. That's how tired I am.
p.s. This morning at Connect Rome was incredible. New series: "F-Bomb" and no it's not what you think. It's forgiveness and it's quite like taking a bandaid off really fast - it hurts, but it's needed.
So thankful for a pastor who can get up in front of the congregation and be honest and transparent about his own shortcomings. Yes, he is to be a teacher, an example to the congregation, but he is a human like the rest of us...and I find that reassuring.

12 November 2010

64 vs 8


“Life is like a box of crayons. Most people are the 8-color boxes, but what you're really looking for are the 64-color boxes with the sharpeners on the back. I fancy myself to be a 64-color box, though I've got a few missing. It's ok though, because I've got some more vibrant colors like periwinkle at my disposal. I have a bit of a problem though in that I can only meet the 8-color boxes. Does anyone else have that problem? I mean there are so many different colors of life, of feeling, of articulation.. so when I meet someone who's an 8-color type.. I'm like, "hey girl, magenta!" and she's like, "oh, you mean purple!" and she goes off on her purple thing, and I'm like, "no - I want magenta!"”- John Mayer

10 November 2010

"even nature"

I definitely want this.


Not Jewish Yet Drawn To Torah Part 1
Not Jewish Yet Drawn To Torah Part 2
Not Jewish Yet Drawn To Torah Part 3

This completely blew apart my thoughts, assumptions, and claims about .. well, about everything.
Two things really stuck with me:

1. (from part 2) "This is a task that calls for both enthusiasm and humility."
2. (from part 2 & 3) "The Jewish people are God's Chosen People and Christianity is God's movement of redemption in the nations."

Woah buddy.

A few random thoughts

The moon last night was in rare form - a perfect crescent. Light has taken a rather prominent role in my thoughts of late. The entire moon was still visible, but the brightest part was so bright that it did not fit with the rest of the moon.
The light shines brighter than the darkness.

A friend of mine said the sky was "fire blue" yesterday...what a concept. Does that not just blow your mind? Fire blue. Google it. The sky was seriously the same color as all of those Google images.
Is there a Fire Blue Crayola Crayon yet?

I just made one of the most incredible purchases ever. You'll have to wait a while to find out. It's a surprise (and we all know how I am when it comes to those...GREAT). I hate when I get myself into this kind of trouble.

On another front, I just found an internship with Crayola that I may possibly be interested in applying for at some upcoming date, however, said internship is a six-month program that would require me not being at school for a little while because Crayola calls Pennsylvania home.

09 November 2010

Malloreigh Elizabeth Land

My neighbors, Michael and Katie, (Michael works with my dad and Katie used to go to school with me) had their baby girl today. Malloreigh Elizabeth, I am honored to share part of my name with you. =) A 6 pound 12 ounce bundle of joy.
I'm seriously turning into my mother. I just cried over this little baby girl. In the midst of a time when so much seems to be broken, God restores. He brings life. Hello Ezekiel 16:4-6

"On the day you were born your cord was not cut, nor were you washed with water to make you clean, nor were you rubbed with salt or wrapped in cloths. 5 No one looked on you with pity or had compassion enough to do any of these things for you. Rather, you were thrown out into the open field, for on the day you were born you were despised.  6Then I passed by and saw you kicking about in your blood, and as you lay there in your blood I said to you, “Live!”"

what a promise. 

oh, hello insecurity

So we have this art project (shocker..I'm in a painting class).
It's a self-portrait.

Guess who completely freaked out?
You're right, this one.