31 August 2010

Up 'Til Dawn

Okay, before bed I've got to show you guys this video and tell you a little bit about life.
For quite a few years now I've had this huge tug on my heart to work with St. Jude's Children's Hospital. I don't know how or when or really anything, but God has that place and those sweet children on my heart so much. When I think I've forgotten, He sends something else to remind me.
Just now I stumbled upon this website: Up Til Dawn
and this video:

Talk about tears. I can't help but feel that I'll be doing something with St Jude's or Egleston after college. The funny thing is..those kids don't need encouragement. They're probably the happiest, most content kids ever...because, though they've seen some of the hardest times and watched their parents cry out to God asking WHY it had to be their baby, their faith is stronger. They don't doubt that God exists and that He, as Jehovah Rophi (the God who heals) and Moshia (our Savior), is alive and active today.
What faith. What boundless, mindblowing faith.
Abba, make me as a child with unending faith in You.

29 August 2010

where do we go

We've come so far from light's first explosion
to the creation of this new life
but where do we go
where do we go from here?

the waters rise and fall amidst our chaos
sobbing cries of order left unheard
but where do we go
where do we go from here?

wind brushes the soul and trees are singing
spring has come once more
but where do we go
where do we go from here?

28 August 2010

blissful breeze

Well, my first week at school was a long one. It's always such an incredible load at first if only due to the influx of syllabi. As my painting professor put it, "I'm sure you have syllabus fatigue by now." He said that on Tuesday. You can only imagine how fatigued we were by Friday!
I'm quite enjoying my classes though. Painting seems like it may be a lot of effort, much like drawing, but I will enjoy it. Adams is the picky sort, but he loves what he does. As much as he drives me crazy, I really like him.
Renaissance Art promises to include field trips and 20 minute class presentations, but as I've said before, I can be afraid of nothing after Jane Austen! A 5-10 page paper is mere child's play.
Speaking of Jane Austen, I have Trolander again this semester - my advisor - who always adds satiric humor to the class. It reminds me horrifically of AP Lang. We will be studying tons of literary terms and such. Oh how I miss Hoffa!
Alas, she is in England, which brings me to my next class: Modern British Literature. I am quaking at the thought of tackling Joyce's Ulysses, but it must be done. It's later in the semester. Hopefully I will still have a burst of strength to get through it. The class is promising, but not my favorite.
Old Testament will be a hassle, I'm sure, but I am already enjoying it. Hill brought out some incredible points about Genesis 1 and 2 that will blow your mind - another post for another time.

It's entirely too beautiful to stay inside.

27 August 2010

19 August 2010

Giver of Life

Alright, alright! I should be finishing up all this packing business, but I've got some incredible news!! I can't hide it. I literally have been soaring for a few hours now. I'm just so excited!

Okay, first of all - happy birthday to my now 24 year old brother. How cool.
Second of all, I am leaving Saturday...so making my rounds to see everyone is just so hard! I went for a few hours to see my beautiful second mama, Mrs. Joyce. I love her so much. I can't even begin to explain to you guys how much she has meant to me throughout my life...from Kindergarten, literally, until now. She has just been such a rock in my life and God has used her in so many ways, even if only to hug me. She is definitely a woman to know. Without a doubt. ANYWAY - I may have mentioned this a few posts ago but she is recently married. Her husband, David, is a really wonderful guy. HE is going to grab a fuel filter for me, basically take my poor engine apart and fix Ben!! I'm so excited!!!! =D I will pay him back, of course, but just the fact that it's getting done mo' quick = <3. God definitely provides. Even now, when I don't have Ben to drive to school and all, God has a plan and He provides a way!
THIRD, and most important because I am just beyond excited............MRS JOYCE IS PREGNANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY MAMA#2 IS HAVING A BEHBEH!!! I can't explain how excited I am! I am just gushing! I can't wait to see this little baby. I don't care if it's a girl or a boy (though, I've gone through two boys - my little brother and Riley - and would love to have a little girl to dote on), I am just so excited to see it grow. She is such an incredible mama! I am on cloud seventy five right now. Literally. Just wow! I'm in awe of God...the life breather. That's just phenomenal to me. Isn't He just great?!

18 August 2010

New Song

I was checking out the songs on WOW 2011. SO many of them are already part of my music collection, but I found one that is new.. I haven't bought it yet, but I am in love with its message. It was one of those songs that makes you sit back for a second just bask in the glory of our King! I can't help but share!! ::

14 August 2010

He's got the whole sun in His hands, too

I painted a picture a few weeks ago of a pair of yellow rayban sunglasses. I've been contemplating what to do with it for a while, but that contemplation has gone. I'm not quite going to give away the details, but it's brought to light (hmmm) some interesting facts I'd like to point out.

2 Samuel 22 has to be one of my favorite chapters in the Bible for many reasons, but let's look specifically at verse 29: LORD, You are my lamp; the LORD illuminates my darkness. Though we are children of GOD, the most High, we are full of the darkness of us. Our worry, fear, doubt, and distrust in the One who CAN be trusted...yet He illuminates that darkness. Even when we can't seem to find one ounce of light in ourselves, HE shines on us, in us, and through us. Much like Jimmy Needham said in a song of his, we are merely nightlights amidst the blazing sun or SON in this case. How incredible, though, to be certain..to be sure...that our darkness is not enough to devastate the light that is our GOD, but rather...His light is enough to devastate our mortal darkness.

We all know the story of Job. To sum it up as we all know it, satan tested him to make him stumble and curse GOD, but he would not do it. GOD then blessed him beyond what he could have dreamed. I know I'd love to have that sort of faith and passion for the LORD, but I'm far from it. It's hard enough for me to deal with the daily persecution against my own flesh, let alone to endure anything close to Job's plight. And let's be serious, I don't want to. What amazes me, though, is Job's humility. In Job 33:28 he says, He redeemed my soul from going down to the Pit, and I will continue to see the light."  He knew what was devastating his darkness...he was more than aware of his humanity and did not expect anything from GOD to prevent him from getting exactly what his mortality deserved... if you continue over the next two verses Job says this: GOD certainly does all these things two or three times to a man in order to turn him back from the Pit so he may shine with the light of life. It's easy to quote James 1:2 and not live it, but this guy lived it. He saw and accepted in a huge way a bigger picture that many of us, including myself, don't stop to realize or even truly KNOW. GOD is in control of all. We often go through the same tests over and over because GOD is shaping us, chiseling off the flesh and making us more like Him. He wants US to shine with the light of life. the Light of life.

On a 'lighter' note, turn to Psalm 18:28: LORD, You light my lamp; my God illuminates my darkness. This verse is incredible. Not meaning to in any way disrespect the Word or disgrace it, but God's the one who turns us on. It's so easy to get excited that Julie Andrews is coming to Atlanta or that Jimmy Needham is playing in Macon and I get to see him. It's second nature to be giddy over a crush or new office supplies (and yes I put those together for a reason), but when somebody starts talking about the LORD, or someone mentions His name how often do we get excited? Does it take being in a large group for us to get in the Spirit? It's not like football or baseball. It's not a competition. GOD should be the one who just lights our fire. There's a church in Macon called the "Word Aflame" church or something along those lines...It should be "disciples aflame" or something along those lines. We should just be lit.up. by Him!! What turns you on?

Okay, we've all heard the song "He wraps Himself in light and darkness tries to hide and trembles at his voice - how GREAT is our God?!" well....Psalm 104:2 expands on that: "He wraps Himself in light as if it were a robe, spreading out the sky like a canopy."  The rest of the chapter is wonderful, but this verse hits on God being our light. He IS light. In Him there is NO darkness (see 1 John 1:5). If we are IN HIM, we cannot be darkness...Like 2 Samuel and Psalm both have said, HE ILLUMINATES OUR DARKNESS. Therefore, the sin that we have is destroyed in Him! I don't know about you, but there's some pretty dark areas of my life that I like to keep hidden. I've put them into a box and every once in a while will go back and take inventory. I put my sin there. God says He forgives me, but I'm still guilty. but He wraps Himself in light. Those sins, though I won't let go of them because I have horrible control issues, can be destroyed if I'll give them to Him, because He wraps Himself in light. He illuminates my darkness.

This is just one of those Hallelujah moments - Isaiah 60:19-20 says, "The sun will no longer be your light by day, and the brightness of the moon will not shine on you; but the LORD will be your everlasting light, and your God will be your splendor. Your sun will no longer set, and your moon will not fade; for the LORD will be your everlasting light, and the days of your sorrow will be over." Praise Adonai for the day when the sun and moon are no longer our source of light, but THE LIGHT!

I've got tons of other verses that GOD has really just blessed. I'm serous - it's incredible how many times light is spoken of in the Bible, regardless of your translation. And they're ALL worth reading and mulling over for a moment or two. It takes the age-old concept of God being light to another level. Sometimes we become calloused to those sayings or verses that we've recited since childhood, but when you really look at it, dig through it, and think about it, you'll be surprised what you'll find. When I humble myself to take the time and LOOK, I can't help but be amazed.


edit: Back to the idea of God illuminating our darkness...go read Acts 9:3...talk about illuminating some darkness.

07 August 2010

Countdown: 14 Days

Alright. I have 14 days until school...and I'm buying things (well, mom is purchasing them for me..seeing that my job has temporarily ended and I am out of moneys).

So far: new pillow (praise..needed one), shampoo/conditioner (praise..the stuff I was using to get by was just not cutting it), tub for my movies, electric skillet (will this be against the rules? oh well. I need it), hemp (I've promised a few anklets..), and I think that's it for now.
Still on the list: tons of toiletry items like deodorant, loufa, brush, etc....laundry soap, notebooks, and a few organizational items.

It's not much, but it's more expensive than you'd think. I'm really excited to get back into the groove. I'm already packing up my room and praying that it will all fit into mom's car. (I'm not taking Ben back up just yet..he's still sick).

In other news - I'd like to personally congratulate my dear friend Moma C. Bass on her recent acquisition of a job. This particular job will take her all the way to Al Ain in the UAE!!! She will be teaching, which is absolutely cool. As a side note, and a rather large one at that, they have one of the most incredible zoos in the world! It has tons of exhibits that actually mock the living environments of animals from East Asia to the United States! Not to mention they are the home of some endangered white lions! Talk about legit!! I wish I could visit her. They have a huge African exhibit too, which of course includes giraffes! Since they're in the middle of the desert they have tons of cool animals in a nocturnal exhibit that only come out at night (..duh..) and it's just way cool. Oh, and did I mention leopards?! Do they even have those in US zoos?! I want to visit. She will be there for a year, but tickets (plane tickets I mean) are upwards of $1500 round-trip. That's NOW. I can only imagine what they would be closer to time. Ah well...adventures must be saved for a later date. It gives me another pen pal though. =)

05 August 2010

fairytales and cinderella

Sometimes we are left with big decisions to make. Should we cross the bridge into the thorny woods to find our prize or just simply stay here where it's safe?
Often times when we are called to jump off of that cliff, we do so without first assembling our parachute the way it should be assembled. When we pull the chord, we find ourselves entangled in a confining mess that we managed to strap to our ankles.
Cinderella and I have been going through a few of those tough decisions recently. I'm not sure I share her fear of Prince Charming seeing her as she really was - a servant girl - but there is a certain terror that comes with knowing you've jumped in over your head and your only chance of survival is to be caught by a limb before you hit the bottom.
God is definitely teaching me a lesson in patience.

01 August 2010

frustration word vomit

How are we supposed to grow if we are all stuck in a middle school or high school mentality? There is absolutely no communication, only the existence of a crumbling hierarchy of stereotypical cliques. You have your jocks, your cheerleaders, your "working class," and everyone else who is out of the loop.
Are we promoting the Kingdom of God here? Or are we simply living our lives to glorify ourselves? Don't we know that we are imperfect and those who are imperfect MUST admit their faults and mistakes?
Yes, WE - you AND I. I am not innocent of this, but am fortunate enough to be 'outside' the situation this time, if you see it that way. But if we're supposed to be a mishpochah - a FAMILY - shouldn't we ALL be involved? Yes, I know that means having some dirty laundry that everyone knows, but we ARE a family, aren't we?
In word, yes, but in action...not at all. We are alienating each other by walking in the darkness with our own self-righteous airs.
Name me ONE FAMILY that was able to stick together with no communication - just ONE!
One does not exist.

"GOD will fight your battle if you will just be still." -Exodus 14:14
"Henei ma tov umanaim. Shevet achim gam yachad." - HOW GOOD AND PLEASANT IT IS WHEN BROTHERS CAN LIVE TOGETHER IN UNITY. - Psalm 133:1

How easy it is to forget.