22 November 2009


How do I feel about death? what is its significance in my life? Of this, I am not sure.

I am excited about going home this weekend and getting the chance to relax and have fun with friends and family. I'm so stoked to read the Twilight books and eat...just eat good food, not Dhall food, but really good food. I can't wait to work on the Christmas presents that I have to work on.
In my mind I write love stories. I write so many of them. SSometimes it's hard to write my own love story, but I do. Of late, I have actually ventured to writing part of ti down. Unfortunately none of you will read it. I'm sorry to say this, but 'tis true.

I have a five page essay due tomorrow that I'm barely a paragraph into. I am writing on Poe's "The Raven" and Bryant's "thanatopsis." It's kind of a compare and contrast of their general views of death, simultaneously contrasting the views of transcendentalists when it comes to death and that of the dark romantics, lik ePoe. I love Poe's writing and Thanatopsis was definitely love to me. Is it legal to like Poe, who so hated the transcendentalists, and still find such a grand grand thrill in reading Whitman and Thoreau, Emerson and Bryant? I feel like this is not legal, but alas my mind makes it so.

I'm sitting in Austin's room, my eyes closed and my head laying against the window. I'm not even looking at the computer screen. I'm only paying attention to my head. Juli is sitting on the big beanbag chair reading Eclipse once more and Austin is singing music from Across The Universe beside me on his comfy, cushy bead. It's quite comfortint to know that there is another free spirit like me in the world - one who doesn't mind sitting on the grass between class and not worry about the world. We napped for a whoile hour the other day. It was grand.

I'm ready for thaknsgiving. I love m friends. I am so enthusiastic sometimes...I love too fast? Is that possible?
I want to hold your hand.

17 November 2009

Some things just get to me

So there's this song. It's called "Darlin" and it's by Between The Trees. This song threw my heart on the ground and made me sob.

It's so hard wanting something that you don't have at that moment and don't really know how to go about getting. It's hard not to just give up, but at the same time it's incredibly hard just to set it down and let go and ... just stop. Both are impossible.

Love languages are so important. I think many people go through life not knowing this and not understanding their reality and purpose. Love languages are a part of everyone's life. We have to learn to speak so other will know how we feel. Otherwise they are oblivious and we are working in vain, only to hurt ourselves later.

How does this work?
How does love work?

Katherine said today that she didn't believe the word "life" was in the dictionary. I laughed at her and said "well, it's like love..it's there, but it doesn't mean the definition is thorough."
How do you define love? ...love between a man and a woman...the kind that we all want one day, even if we won't admit it..

16 November 2009

wow guys

Sorry for the long delay in updating. This semester has been fabulously busy for the past few months. It's been great, though.
I applied for a position as RA on campus not to long ago and will hear back about that later this week or early next week. I'm really praying that the Lord will provide this new job for me. I'm scared about it and where it might lead, but I'm ready to make the jump.
Classes are going well. I need to pull a few of my grades up a bit before the end of the semester, but I'm doing substantially better than last year I am sure.
Friends are lovely. I am blessed, that's for sure. I miss the few who aren't here, but have high hopes of seeing them soon.

current music: "Two Is Better Than One" - Boys Like Girls with Taylor Swift

I'm at work for another forty-five minutes, then off to dinner and Walmart, only to end up at the library around seven for a group project.
I wish this was more insightful, but it's not. Sorry guys.
Thanksgiving break is rapidly approaching and I'm entirely too ready for it. My brain has been fried like an egg sunnyside up for a grand amount of time. Fabulously filling food is on the menu for next week. I'm not sure there is a better option.

10 November 2009

such a good song

"Love Is Waiting" - Brooke Fraser

In the autumn on the ground,
between the traffic and the ordinary sounds
I am thinking signs and seasons while a north wind blows through
I watch as lovers pass me by
Walking stories - whos and hows and whys
Musing lazily on love
Pondering you
I'll give it time, give it space and be still for a spell
When it's time to walk that way we wanna walk it well

I'll be waiting for you baby
I'll be holding back the darkest night
Love is waiting til we're ready, til it's right
Love is waiting

It's my caution not the cold
there's no other hand that i would rather hold
the climate changes, I'm singing for the strangers about you
don't keep time, slow the pace
Honey hold on if you can
the bets are getting surer now that you're my man

I'll be waiting for you baby
I'll be holding back the darkest night
Love is waiting til we're ready, til it's right
Love is waiting

I could write a million songs about the way you say my name
I could live a lifetime with you and then do it all again
and like I can't force the sun to rise or hasten summer's start,
neither should I rush my way into your heart