26 October 2009


[I knew I'd get distracted from homework tonight]

I think tonight I've realized at least a smidgen of why I often find myself captivated by hands in a respectful way - for what they represent and everything that they mean.
There are so many reasons that are exemplified in songs that I have heard over the past seventy-two hours alone that only recently dawned on me.
Nothing is impossible, nothing is impossible for You. You hold my world in your hands - Kari Jobe

Lord, I can't even walk without you holding my hand. Oh Lord, the mountains are too high and the valleys are too wide. Down on my knees, I've learned to stand..because I can't even walk without you holding my hand. - Charles Johnson

Give us clean hands. Give us pure hearts. Let us not lift our souls to another - Chris Tomlin

These are only three that come to mind right now that describe not only God cleansing us, our hands, but guiding us and strengthening us if only through His 'one scarred hand.'

Have you ever looked at your hands? Or the hands of your best friend, mom, or grandfather? ... have you ever noticed the lines etched in them, whether faint or profoundly, painfully deep, the shape of fingers and how they curve? The softness or callousness of skin? Is there stress illustrated in the tension there, or unevenness of nails? What do your hands say about you?

God holds our hands through everything - through every break up, every unsure step, every loss, every moment when we feel we are forced to be more patient than anyone ever should, moments when we are determined, and the moments when we lose that determination. He holds our hand through endless devotion and inevitable change.
His hands, the hands of a carpenter, were pierced on the cross so that we might find hope and faith....peace in the world - in our lives. Hands show what we have gone through - fights and struggles, the things that make us and break us - characteristics of who we are and what means most to us. They show where we belong and to whom we belong by fitting perfectly. They symbolize our hearts. In our hands, in our hearts, we find the power of healing.

Matthew 9:20-21
Matthew 18:19-20

14 October 2009

I'm actually going to write something legit

Well, it depends on what you call legit.

I feel like my life has been going in twenty thousand different directions of late. Last night I went to sleep angry which totally threw off my entire day. I know bottling up anger isn't the best thing, but right now I see no outlet that's worth the effort. I'm excited about getting out of here next semester and starting something that I think will be a bit easier on my nerves and a lot less stressful than this get up. My birthday is coming up which also marks the anniversary of my Papa's death. It's surreal. Mom was thinking about coming to visit me that weekend, but I told her not to. I think it will be better not making a big deal about it. I remember him in my own way at my own times...which is more often than I let on...but memorializing his death doesn't seem appropriate to me. My grandfather lead an incredible life. It deserves much more recognition than his untimely death. I praise the Lord that he stood firm in his faith always, never wavering. I just wish I could share with him my own faith...though I found it years ago, I'm only just now beginning to utilize it.

It's a totally different ballgame when all you do is absorb. Sitting in water does nothing but make your skin wrinkly. Yet, we need to be filled with water - we are made of water.

School is going pretty well. My lit class is, of course, my favorite. I have a presentation in art tomorrow. I don't think it will be terrible...I'm just not looking forward to it. Tennis is over which is basically no fun, but I''m glad I won't be taking it in the cold part of the semester. I wish I could take it over and over again and get credit, though. I miss playing. I feel like college drops all options for those who love the game but aren't good enough to be pro.

My birthday is coming up, did I mention that? I think I'm excited. :)

I feel like I'm neglecting so much in my life right now...especially my walk with the Lord. I've gotten out of the habit of reading my Bible and I don't even know HOW I got out of the habit. The last time I checked [hah] I was reading almost everyday and studying the Word avidly. I guess that's how life goes, though. I need to work on that more and make sure that I spend time with the Lord. It's hard for me not to pray or think about Him...just like it's rare that my family and best friends don't cross my mind. They mean so much to me and are always on my mind. Just like the Lord.

I want to write, but I feel blocked. This place is killing me. Maybe I'll sleep on a bench with a few deer as my friends. HAHAHA
good night kids

oh hey

school has overtaken my life.
sorry kiddies, no frivilous words for a while.
I'll be back when you've reached 100,000 miles or 3 months...which ever comes first.