These past few days have been full of a lot of reminiscing. I'm the kind of person who, when on the threshold of something new, I take a minute to look back on life. I don't live in the past, but I think it's a wonderful experience to look back on your life, especially on the verge of a new year, and see how you've changed or how you've remained the same - whether good or bad. It's a pretty interesting reality check.
This year has been one of the most revolutionary, wild years I've ever had. At the same time, it's been one of the calmest, most "home-like" years.
This year has been full of "firsts."
First time truly serving God by serving others.
First time leading my own Bible study.
First time getting INVOLVED in a church.
First time getting a CT Scan/blood work.
First time opening up about a struggle/addiction I've battled for most of my life.
First time attending a Messianic Jewish congregation & learning Hebrew & Shabbat dinner, etc.
First time doing my own Shabbat dinner.
First time going to the doctor by my choosing.
First time legally having alcohol (not that I had much before I was 21..)
First time wearing/owning a pair of jeans.
First time cutting my hair short(er).
First time finishing a Bible study.
First time temporarily deactivating my facebook.
First time coming to Mid GA & not coming home.
First time legitimately holding hands with a boy..twice or three times or more...which is hilarious.
First time being chair of anything important, really - aka Relay for Life at BC.
First time committing myself to accountability about my life in general.
First time painting my face.
First time lofting mybed
First time going to PCB.
First time as a "greeter" at church.
First time going to Passion.
First time painting for someone else.
First time dressing up for Halloween (as a crayon no less!).
First time going to Marietta Diner.
The list goes on and on - I'm not even kidding.
As much as things have changed, I'm incredibly grateful. I feel like I've grown more spiritually in the past 12 months than in any other 12 month period of time in my life so far. It's insane. I'm loving it, but I also just fall into sin a lot as well. I've got great new friends. I've had times where I've felt absolutely fed up. I've cried...who are we kidding? I've cried A LOT in the past 12 months..but I've also laughed a lot in the past 12 months...I've laughed so much. I've learned so much. I've been burdened and I've been set free.
I've fought a lot - for pointless things and for things that deserve to be fought for. I've watched a lot of tv, filled up two journals, and played callouses onto my fingers with my guitar. I've thought I was in love.
One time I was right .. and still am .. and forever will be.
I've learned so much.
I've learned that trying to impress people always leads to dishonesty. I've learned that falling apart isn't the end of the world, but staying there is. I've learned that adventures happen for an absolutely necessary reason and running with them is glorious. I've learned that the world is made of colors - there is no black in nature. I've learned that watching other people is only okay for a time. I've learned that I will always have my sophomores. I've learned that complete honesty defeats fear. I've learned that I can't do everything, but I have to do something. I've learned that baking cookies is completely relaxing. I've learned that I don't have to open up, but I need to. I've learned that it's not about me. I've learned that nothing is a coincidence. I've learned that there are 1440 minutes in a day--10% of that time is 2 hours and 24 minutes. I've learned that I waste time. I've learned the definition of 'friend.' I've learned .. to wait.
But, the biggest lesson is that God's Word is still alive today. With it comes comfort. God uses other people to teach us things. God equips us for every possible circumstance. I may not understand what His plans are, but I'll hold on until they get here because I know they're beneficial and a.w.e.s.o.m.e.
I've also learned that I really like shoes...but I knew that already.