27 January 2010

now hear THIS...wow

"You might think that calling the Holy Spirit the “forgotten God” is a bit extreme. Maybe you agree that the church has focused too much attention elsewhere but feel it is an exaggeration to say we have forgotten about the Spirit. I don’t think so. From my perspective, the Holy Spirit is tragically neglected and, for all practical purposes, forgotten. While no evangelical would deny His existence, I’m willing to bet there are millions of churchgoers across America who cannot confidently say they have experienced His presence or action in their lives over the past year. And many of them do not believe they can. The benchmark of success in church services has become more about attendance than the movement of the Holy Spirit. The “entertainment” model of church was largely adopted in the 1980s and ’90s, and while it alleviated some of our boredom for a couple of hours a week, it filled our churches with self-focused consumers rather than self-sacrificing servants attuned to the Holy Spirit. Perhaps we’re too familiar and comfortable with the current
state of the church to feel the weight of the problem. But what if you grew up on a desert island with nothing but the Bible to read? Imagine being rescued after twenty years and then attending a typical evangelical church. Chances are you’d be shocked (for a whole lot of reasons, but that is another story). Having read the Scriptures
outside the context of contemporary church culture, you would be convinced that the Holy Spirit is as essential to a believer’s existence as air is to staying alive. You would know that the Spirit led the first Christians to do unexplainable things, to live lives that didn’t make sense to the culture around them, and ultimately to spread the story of God’s grace around the world. There is a big gap between what we read in Scripture about the Holy Spirit and how most believers and churches operate today. In many modern churches, you would be stunned by the apparent absence of the Spirit in any manifest way. And this, I believe, is the crux of the problem. If I were Satan and my ultimate goal was to thwart God’s kingdom and purposes, one of my main strategies would be to get churchgoers to ignore the Holy Spirit. The degree to which this has happened (and I would argue that it is a prolific disease in the body
of Christ) is directly connected to the dissatisfaction most of us feel with and in the church. We understand something very important is missing. The feeling is so strong that some have run away from the church and God’s Word completely. I believe that this missing something is actually a missing Someone—namely, the Holy Spirit. Without Him, people operate in their own strength and only accomplish human-size results. The world is not moved by love or actions that are of human creation.
And the church is not empowered to live differently from any other gathering of people without the Holy Spirit. But when believers live in the power of the Spirit, the evidence in their lives is supernatural. The church cannot help but be different, and the world cannot help but notice."

The intro from "Forgotten God" by Francis Chan

26 January 2010

today's song of choice

almost like a weapon of choice - hah!!

I realized last night that I haven't listened to secular music at all since before leaving for break....and last night was the first time (besides listening to that BLG song in the car with Jules when the Jesus station went out).

BUT lately I have also been struggling a little - at night especially, but sometimes in the mornings. I've had weird dreams and slept soundly, but restlessly, and my spirit is just heavy some days. Two nights this week Satan has tried to tell me I'm doing the wrong thing...that I was standing on nothing for 20 years and I'm still standing on nothing...that there IS nothing to stand on - there is only sinking.
to that I say "if His grace is an ocean, we're all sinking." So, gladly, mister satan, will I sink in Adonai's grace!!

Anyway, this morning I decided to pull out the handy iPod while walking to class...since I pulled it out for a listen last night so as not to disturb my dear roommate with my loud obnoxious music (she actually tried talking to me and I didn't hear her - such a hilarious moment for us teehee).
Back to my story - this morning, one of the first songs that played was "Cling To The Call" by John Waller. Here are the lyrics::

I was walking on water just a week ago
Not a care in the world even a day ago
Not sure what happened but all of the sudden
I saw the crashing waves all around me
And once again I had to choose
To put my eyes back on You
My eyes back on You

And You said...
Cling to the call
Cling to the peace that guards your heart
Cling to the promise
Though you stumble you won't fall
I will uphold you now just trust me with all
Just look at me and I will lead you as you
Cling to the call

I could stand without wavering just an hour ago
I could not deny You even a moment ago
Not sure what happened but three times denied You
And once again I've gotta choose
To put my eyes back on You
My eyes back on You

Now once again
I trust You're leading me
I choose to lean not
On my understanding, Lord
And I will sing as I cling…

and this is John Waller's story behind said song according to
"The revelation in my songs has always preceded where I am in life. I wrote “Cling to the Call” while we were getting ready to move back to Georgia from Colorado. At the time, we didn’t know what we were going to do in Georgia, and didn’t even have a concrete place to live. Plus, we didn’t have the money to move across the country. But we knew we were called to do it, so all we could do was cling to Him. Some people think that clinging to the call means you are called to a specific task and you must cling to that thing. But the task changes. You may not be doing the same thing five years from now. Instead, we are called to cling to Him. We are called to know him." - John Waller

HOW THIS SPEAKS TO MY HEART!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have been so incredibly focused on the Lord lately - from the time I was home for break to Passion to the first week here, but even when I got back, I felt like I was so easily swayed from looking at Him!!!! Even this week! I will study and be in the word, then all of a sudden lose it. Satan loves to attack, but praise Adonai for His call!! His plan is infallible!

I'd write more, but it's time to leave work. :) PG!

my heart

This is incredibly the cry of my heart of late...I read it in some Christy Nockels lyrics earlier and was rid of my breath.

Let me be in love with what You love
Let me be most satisfied in You
Forsaking what this world has offered me
I choose to be in love with You
I will choose to be in love with You

Let me know the peace that's mine in You
Let me know the joy my heart can sing
For I have nothing Lord apart from You
I choose to call on Christ in me
I will choose to call on Christ in me

For in the fullness of who You are
I can rest in this place
And giving over this, my journey Lord
I see nothing but Your face

Let me know that You have loved me first
Let me know the weight of my response
For You have long pursued my wandering heart
I choose to glory in Your cross
I will choose to glory in Your cross

And I bow down...
Humbly, I bow down...
Humbly, I bow down...
I bow down...

I bow down, I bow down
my beloved- here I am
I bow down, I bow down to You...

2 Corinthians 5:8 "We are confident, I say, and willing rather to be absent from the body, and to be present with the Lord."

Oh my Adonai! How can I hear these words, feel them in my heart, and not be moved by You?! How my heart longs to be with You and You alone! This day, I give you my thoughts, I give you my time. Josh has been teaching on priorities of late...how we have 167 hours outside the 1 hour we spend a week at some sort of service. Lord, I know the majority of my 167 hours outside of that gathering are spent worrying, thinking on things outside of You! Abba, I choose to be in love with You! In the fullness that You are, I can rest! I can be at peace in this journey. I can find joy even in the times when I feel I have no foothold or am sure to sink in the water. Adonai, all I have need of is to look at You - to train my sight on You, Father, and keep it there. I am constantly tossed by the wind, though I desire to be rooted and grounded in You! The more I am with You, the more I know I should be with You always! How majestic even Your whisper!! Let alone a shout from You! How marvelous are Your works - are Your ways of moving in us! How humbling to know Your might! I praise You, Father. I praise You.

25 January 2010


I'm running, quite figuratively.

Here's a rundown of this week, for the sake of having one:
Monday (otherwise known as today) - work 8-11, call hannah, lunch, class 12-3:15, homework, food, Berry vs Shorter basketball game, tons of reading for Austen, possible coffee with Kafrin Bell and Ash

Tuesday - class 9:30-11, lunch, class 12:30-2, work 2-5 (and consequently run around like crazy for Allen haha), food, Purple Fire (relay for life) 7-9, Biggest Loser & Teen Mom (optional..not likely), homework (tons for my writing class, I'm sure, and a notecard for lit)

Wednesday (the big day) - work 8-11, lunch, class 12-3:15, R4L kickoff 4-7 (aka no food until 7...bad), more reading for Austen and whatever homework I can muster beyond that

Thursday (one day closer to Friday) - class 9:30-11, work meeting 11-12,lunch for 30 minutes, class 12:30-2, work 2-4, nap?, food, homework for Friday, paint?!, Grey's Anatomy & Private Practice (not optional)

Friday (ah, we meet again)- work 8-11, lunch, class 12-2 (such a relief!), nap, pack, food, leave for Carrollton, Zach's game, happy birthday Seth, go to Nan's.

Saturday (day of no sleeping in anymore) - service with Nan, to Tanger probably, on to Rome, Ashley's recital at 8, IHOP for pancakes afterward, fall into bed

Sunday - Connect Rome 9:45, lunch, n.a.p.t.i.m.e., homework

And somewhere in there, I have a lot of letters to write to people and headbands to make for Emmy.
Basically the entire next week is the same - except I'll go home Thursday instead of Friday. =D

Verse for today that really caught my eye::
Deuteronomy 29:29 "Things which are hidden belong to ADONAI our God. But the things that have been revealed belong to us and our children forever, so that we can observe all the words of this Torah."

The things He reveals to us...they are ours forever...so that we can keep His Word! All for His glory, once again. :)

Song: (as if you couldn't guess...and p.s. I'm getting this as a ringtone and setting it as my alarm as soon as it comes out)
"Our God is greater! Our God is stronger! God, You are higher than ANY other! Our God is healer, awesome in power! Our God! Our God!"

...it's actually written on my arm right now - had a bit of a struggle last night and it was the promise I held onto.

now it's lunch time.

22 January 2010

"Song of the Beautiful"

go watch this song by Christy Nockels.

"the song of the redeemed, the echoes of those made free."

it's not when you are lifting your voices high that is the most powerful....it's when you stop to listen and you hear the echoes coming back again and again to proclaim exactly what those voices were shouting.
it's when you hear the echoes that you find yourself shivering with chills.
it's when you hear the echoes that you feel in your heart that those words were meant, felt, and lived.

"Yeshua, you are my all!"

21 January 2010

I was reading a post on [Beth Moore's Blog from a few days ago about a family in Haiti. It was the wife's recount of the earthquake this past week. She said she sat down with her Bible and read Psalm 46 - entirely fitting for the events and time. I couldn't help but pull out my own Bible, my handy guide, and read it for myself. Amidst the lines and highlights, no matter how crooked, I found a trembling comfort.
And of course, my head was filled with song after song that must find their base in this passage. From Kari Jobe's "Be Still" to Sonicflood's "My Refuge" and so many others. The one song that stuck, however, is a pretty old hymn, if I'm not mistaken. It might just be a southern gospel song. The two often run together in my head.
The chorus goes a little something like this:

There is a river that flows from deep within,
There is a fountain that frees the soul from sin.
Come to this water, there is a vast supply.
There is a river that never shall run dry.

Which in turn reminds me of Jordan Johnson's song "Preserve Me," which says "I keep running after broken cisterns that never satisfy."

We run so often after virus-infected, stagnate waters when we have the unending waters of life, that do not stagnate - they remain the same but are not polluted. They are pure.

One thing Pam, the lady from Haiti, said in her post was this:
If I offer them myself, I offer nothing. But if I offer them Jesus, I offer everything. For who better to understand their pain and suffering than He who endured the pain and suffering of the cross. Who better to comfort than the Father who watched his own son as he was crushed under the weight of the sins of mankind.

I don't even know what to say after that...so I will leave you with one more song.

" will bless the Lord forever
I will trust Him at all times
He has delivered me from all fear
He has set my feet upon a rock
I will not be moved
And I'll say of the Lord

You are my shield, my strength
My portion, deliverer
My shelter, strong tower
My very present help in time of need

Whom have I in heaven but You
There's none I desire beside You
You have made me glad
And I'll say of the Lord

You are my shield, my strength
My portion, deliverer
My shelter, strong tower
My very present help in time of need
-Darlene Zschech

20 January 2010


Ok guys, wow. I don't know where to start. This semester is going to be great.
Jane Austen study - lots of essays
Art History - lots of memorizing paintings and dates and weird painter people
American Lit II - the best part...we get into Williams, Plath, Chopin, NOM.
Advanced Writing - lots of essays...definitely not a good idea to follow New Testament with this class, but that's okay. All my essays may be religiously themed.
New Testament - This class...wow. hahaha it's good, but it really rubs my fur backwards...if I had fur. Just imagine the hair on your legs being fur.

The sky is gorgeous today and the rain has held off for so long! Maybe it won't even come.
New Testament today was all about Judaism, and boy is he getting a long email from me later...just with questions. ... questions with my own preconceived answers, simply out of inquiry and possibly something for him to ponder - therefore, rhetorical questions...with huge answers.

It scares me when things make sense....because honestly, all this stuff is making more sense than 2+2=4. Don't tell Mary Gentry I said so.

Maybe it's not the idea that it's making sense to me, but a backwards notion somewhere in the recesses of my mind that wants me to wonder if this, too, is something spoken of only by men in an egotistical, money-hungry sort of way.

But the Bible says "Know the truth, and the truth will make you free" - John 8:32 !!!! I want to know!!!

"I wanna know...can you show me? there's something different about these strangers like me.." - Tarzan

Galatians 5:1 says "STAND FAST in the freedom/liberty wherewith Christ has made us free, and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage!"

I'm coming to the understanding that when we humans get a little taste of freedom, we don't quite know what to do with it.


"to be used by You."

Draw me, Father! And I will RUN after you! I will follow hard after You!
Use me! Let me be an example! Let me share this with others.

I can't explain it - I can't physically point to its source, but I can lay in it. I can bask in it. I can revel in it. I can be content here.

I don't mind staying here...reaching higher.

Sometimes when I'm singing, when I'm worshiping [even if not in song], I can't quite get high enough! I have to stand on the seat! I have to be on my toes reaching, straining! I CAN'T GET HIGH ENOUGH TO GET TO YOU!!!!!!

Who needs to worry about courage when there's THIS joy inside? I can't worry about what people will think.

"I don't have time to maintain these regrets when I think about the way He loves!"

well hello 2010

It's been a little while and I apologize. A lot has happened and this will be short.
I'm about to go to lunch. =D
My God is so good. He is just incredible.

more insightful things this afternoon. =)