02 April 2009

serenaded by angels

This week has been a rough one. I have had the craziest dreams every night this week -- with people dying, being kidnapped, being lost, and all sorts of other things.

A few other things have come to light as well. Relay for Life is this Friday [tomorrow] and I am beyond excited. I have been looking forward to this for months now and I can't wait to be there and just be doing for this wonderful cause.
That brings about another interesting thought. I really would like to work for St. Jude's or Egleston or the ACS even! I would love to spend the rest of my life helping people who are fighting so hard this battle against cancer. My life has been touched and I want so much to give to those who are fighting. The way it looks right now, though, is I will have to change majors to something to do with nursing or counceling, which I don't want to do. I am praying for God to just open doors for me if this is the way I should go and show me the path I should go down. I really feel that He might be calling me to a ministry with the ACS or an organization like it.

Life is often frustrating. These bad dreams and the presence of so many different crazy things going on in life makes me loopy. My brain has not been connected to anything outside of my stomach this week. The only thing, until tonight, that I have honestly felt is...hungry.

It's frustrating to me when you try to help someone close and yet your efforts seem to be unwanted. It hurts me when I try and am told I don't care, regardless of the situation. I am constantly made to wonder if the people in my life now -- all of them -- will turn out much like the ghosts of my past. Or will they break the mold? This endless chain that seems to follow hauntingly.

My hands and mind want to write, but my heart is too cliche today.

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