I have to be completely honest with you guys: I've spent most of the past two days being angry. I've been angry at people. I've been angry at situations and conflicts. I've been angry at reactions. I've been angry with myself.
Anger is a result of Satan pouring confusion into my life. Anger is a result of my living as the god of my own circumstances rather than obeying THE God...the God of OBEDIENCE. Anger is a result of my insecurity involving my friendships, my relationships, and where God is taking me. Anger is a result of my insecurity with my own self and my inability to DO as much as often and as well as I want to. Anger is a result of my humanity, which I cannot change.
I've been wrestling with this all weekend long. I even started a blog post in my notebook during a class Friday. It wasn't anger on the page, but I had to stop because I hadn't dealt with my anger yet. I hadn't come face to face with it and just dealt with it.
I can't say that I've had a dramatic encounter with it today, but I can say that I've had a dramatic encounter with the Healer of my heart. I sat in a room full of hearts desiring to serve. I think sometimes we can get to the point where our servant hearts idolize "doing." I know I've been there in the past few weeks. God has called me to be involved, to absolutely jump.in., but in specific areas. I can't do everything, though my heart so longs to be involved in EVERY area.
Tonight, these people have such a desire to be FOR GOD. They aren't concerned about race, gender, class, church affiliation, religious affiliation, where you live, who your parents are, where you work, if you've done something morally wrong....they want you to KNOW GOD. I don't know how better to explain it, but it inspires me to no end.
I came face to face with the God of these people tonight in videos from Passion Kyiv, Passion London, and the other destinations on the Passion 2010 World Tour. Hearing these people cry out to God in confidence, in faith, in vulnerability, and in STRENGTH made me just want to fall on my face and thank El Shaddai, MY ALL SUFFICIENT GOD, for His hand that defies language barriers, cultural barriers, and mental stigmas.
God has called me OUT and called me TO some of the most difficult situations I've ever had to make...mostly because I tried to make them alone. His restoration and healing is beyond anything you know. Doctors and medicine can't touch this. Nothing can touch the power that just resounds in His NAME alone.
I don't know who reads my blog, or if anyone really does outside a few specific friends. I don't know where YOU are at in your life, or maybe I do. Either way, I challenge you to reach out. I challenge you to try this "God thing" or "Jesus thing" if you haven't tried it, or to try it again if you have in the past and just didn't agree with it.
I challenge you to step out of what makes you comfortable. Step away from the people and "stuff" that you find your worth and security in and I dare you to ask God to be your security, your worth, and your passion.
I dare you to make yourself uncomfortable by seeing what He's about. I dare you to forget the stereotypes and failures of everyone around you and look at the One who is blameless, but loves you.
I challenge you to step into the rushing water of the Jordan River at harvest time, overflowing its banks, and see what God will do.
I dare you to trust Him.