16 March 2009

truth be told...

I wake up every evening with a big smile on my face
and it never feels out of place

Savannah is one of the most interesting cultural experiences you could ever have. There are people off all walks of life, cultures, and .. 'preferences.' I wouldn't mind living there, except I might be scared for my life. However, I think I found my house there. It quietly sits on Tybee Island and is yellow with a wrap-around porch. However, I'm not sure if it's perfect. I didn't get to go inside and check it out. The owners wouldn't be too happy, I'm sure.

And your still probably working at a 9 to 5 pace
I wonder how bad that tastes

Spending the Saturday with Morgan, Christopher, Hannah, and Cody was fabulous. I have missed those children more than so much. :) I must go back and visit more often and have fun with them. Especially when my feet will not freeze in the breeze from the ocean.

Now where's your picket fence love
And where's that shiny car,
And did it ever get you far

I often feel bad for people who lack the ability to read the expressions and eyes of others. I feel that God has given me somewhat of a gift for such things, though not with everyone. It often seems to prove troublesome and overly stressful, but who am I to say? I have misread people and have fallen quite mercilessly into my own traps and find myself at the knees of my emotions, begging them to forget themselves and runaway.

You've never seem so tense love
I've never seen you fall so hard,
Do you know where you are?

Coming home is often hard. I am always ready for such breaks--who isn't?--but sometimes I find myself missing my friends twice as much when I am home. I often feel rushed and out of sorts when I'm staying at home...less productive than under 'normal' circumstances at school. God shows me so often that I am blessed beyond any measure that I could earn or deserve under any circumstances. I am known for abusing my friends according to the emotions that I may be experiencing or outstanding circumstances that they are not involved in, and yet God always blesses me with the best of the best. I am constantly learning from them and find it such a blessing to know I can turn to them for help and that they are always lifting me up to the Father. Just to know that these people, these incredibly Godly people with such precious hearts, are taking their time to lift me up to the Father in prayer brings me to my knees. It is so humbling.

Go ahead as you waste your days with thinking
When you fall everyone stands
Another day and you've had your fill of sinking

My days spent at home are filled with Riley Cole Dorman, one of God's most precious blessings to my family. He is so rambunctious sometimes that it drives me crazy! He can make a game of Hi-Ho Cherry-O more violent than a game of paintball!

With the life held in your
hands are shaking cold
these hands are meant to hold

Okay, so the whole point of this blog was to clue you guys in. My great-aunt died early this morning. I'm quite upset with my grandmother. She never gave my mother or I or anyone else, to my knowledge, the information that my aunt was bad off. You might say she was in denial, but she told my mother that she had been "expecting it for a while now."

Swing, swing, swing
From the tangles of

This puts an unexpected and stressful twist on my spring break. I now will be attending visitation on Wednesday from 6 until 8 and will either attend the funeral on Thursday at 11am or be babysitting Riley while my parents go. Neither of these options are very appealing. My dear cousin just lost her grandfather no more than two months ago...I lost mine close to six months ago, and we both lost our great-grandmother almost a year ago. This past year has hurt me so much and I'm quite tired of it.

Don’t be so greedy. (Don't be...)
A dollar's a penny to you

I know that some of you may think that the deaths I've had to deal with over the past year are kind of not affecting me anymore, but I beg to differ. Whether you are around me enough to see or have known me for long enough to notice the changes, they are there. I struggle daily with emotions that I have never had to deal with before. I remember making the comment to a friend a few years ago that I was fortunate not to have lost really anyone super close to me..that has all changed in one year. I will no longer answer the phone if Mrs. Alice's daughter calls. Is that out of dislike for her? No, I love her so very much, but talking to her only reminds me so vividly of someone that I have come to miss more than words, thoughts, actions, expressions, or eyes could ever begin to express. You might be able to see it in the tears that seem to fill my eyes at the most random times, or feel it in the tight squeeze that I probably give you.

And shadows blend one last time (save those kisses)
Your picture speaks on this time (eyelash wishes)

Alas, I am not sad. :) Just emotionally distraught at the most random times, and I do apologize. Right now, I'm tired and a little hungry [as if that is new] and feel I should go to bed. Only after praising the Lord once more for the friends I have been blessed with. They are so...beyond descriptions.
And, oh, Father, I thank you so for the trees!

and truth be told I miss you...
when you see my face hope it gives you...

Suntrust, lunch with Christina, chill time with Christina and Kalin, dinner with the family, chllax time I hope.
Riley Cole time with mother and some sunshine on my skin for sure, PHS vs Rutland with Lala, visitation.
A funeral or more babysitting, things I'm unsure of.
more Riley Cole and sunshine, high school visiting, swings with m'loves, Mexican/Zaxby's because that's what we do.
sunshine, Benjamin's wedding, the night is still young.
Church and the longest car ride for a while. Goodbyes make life so hard.

No comments:

Post a Comment