I really feel like God prepares our hearts and minds for different events.
He often doesn't allow us to process the entirety of a situation at once, but rather in small amounts over time.
Last night I felt so overwhelmed and felt God just calling to me amidst my frustration with homework and other things. I sat outside on a bench by the volleyball courts for well over an hour--probably closer to two--and wrote. I prayed with everything that was in me over all of the events and people that have been laying so heavily on my heart recently.
Luke Campbell was first and foremost on my heart because I have been closely following his progress in fighting his second round of cancer. As I poured my heart and my tears into my notebook a song played on my ipod. I'm sure many of you are modern-day Christians and haven't listened to much southern gospel music. I, however grew up listening to it. Those were my first concerts. The particular song that played is one from my childhood -- "Four Days Late" as sung by Karen Peck & New River. The lyrics hit me so hard...they always have. Jesus was told that Lazarus was dying...and when he finally reached him, Lazarus was dead. The song says "when He's four days late, He's still on time." It emphasizes to me that the Lord is A-never far away, B-never late in His decisions, but rather ...everything works out according to His perfect will. The song says, "Lord, I don't understand why you waited so long.."
I could easily say the same thing, or something similar, now..and in so many different situations over the past year. I could plead with God and beg him to answer my one question -- WHY? But where is the trust and faith in that?
I could ask Him why He took a 17 year old boy with his whole life ahead of him...but I know that in the grand scheme of things, His will was being performed. The purpose and time planned for Luke was finished.
There are so many things I want to say, but I don't know how to get them out right now.