03 March 2009


Oh, blog I have neglected you.
These past few days have been crazy.
I was privileged enough to go home and see the concert at my high school :: Rush of Fools, Jimmy Needham, Joy Lippard, and Sarah Reeves.
It was incredible! Besides hearing all of Jimmy Needham's lovely songs on my high school auditorium's stage and being able to sing along with them, I was overcome with the presence of the Lord. These artists have written songs that glorify the Father in such a way that it was hard for me to stand. Rush of Fools is fabulous. The lyrics to some of their new songs brought tears to my eyes.
Often I am humbled by my .. stupid decisions and actions.
I was introduced to a Bible study up at Winshape and went for the first time tonight. It's a Beth Moore Bible study and for those of you who are familiar with women's Bible Studies, you know that besides Kay Arthur, Beth Moore is basically the best. Tonight's lesson dealt a lot with the story of Abraham and Isaac -- following without question the commands of God's will...how He tests our faith. It was mentioned that you will come to face a battle over and over and over until you pass it...not with a "well, you passed" sort of grade, but pass the test having learned the lesson intended leaving that problem with absolutely no hold on you whatsoever.
I honestly believe that the Lord has been testing me when it comes to friendships. Not JUST recently, but throughout my entire life. I have battled with friends, lost many close ones, and fallen again into the trap. Sometimes I put my friends higher on my priority list than they should be. It was still quite a while after I realized this that I "passed the test" so to speak, and I still have problems with that today. My friends and family mean more to me than anything else on this earth. Sometimes, that's too much.
Though my attitude has often been a factor playing poker in these hands of friendships, I have, with the Lord's strength, been able to control it and my emotions fairly well. Of late, however, this has not been the case.
I have also learned [and this one has taken a while as well] that I tend to take comments to heart. Not all of them, necessarily, because I am often one to engage in silly bantering with friends and family as a sign of affection. However, when certain individuals say things in all seriousness it is hard for me to forget. And honestly, sometimes what I remember concerns me because it comes from parties quite far beyond my inner circle, the opinions that I truly do value.

Vulnerability. [does not imply equal-opportunity or the application of 'fair game']

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