02 October 2011

A Call to Prayer

Nine months from now I will have my new mission.  A new place.  Part of my heart is too ready for that new adventure.  I can’t wait to find a new home, meet new people, and experience new parts of the world.  I can’t wait to grow.  I also experience nights and moments and days of sheer panic.  The thought of moving away from people, places, and things that I’ve become so accustomed to, so full of love for, causes my heart to pulse as if it is being suffocated and drowned in a sea of unknown.  I know this isn’t much, but I do pray so desperately that you all will pray with me.  I have options and I have grand dreams, but I’m never sure which task to check off my to-do list first.  I’m bound by the monetary worries of the rest of the world and the desire to squeeze every possible memory from the last few years with my granddaddy.  I’m not sure how all three of these things – dreams, money, and memories – will play into what God has next in my life, but I want more than anything to follow hard after what He has for me…even if that means giving up parts of my family that I hold so dear or friends that I cherish more than there are words on this planet.  Somehow, I know God has each of you in my future.  I know his plan for me includes you, but there may be distance there.  Please forgive me if it seems like I don’t care at times, but I’m really just trying to keep myself from hurting and crying and breaking in half at the idea of leaving.  I’ve never been so great at the task.  I dread it.  I dread the leaving and being left.  Please pray with me – whether it be the West, the east, another continent, or right here. Please pray with me.

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