My to-do list for the remainder of October is large and in charge right now. I've marked off a few things that have been consistently listed for the past few weeks including my World Race application and letter to my Granny who wrote me a sweet card a few weeks ago during my hardest week of midterms (if there was a hardest week). Tonight at our CAC meeting we're making cards for Kody Lucas, which has also been on my to-do list.
Apart from these crazy lists, I've learned a few things lately. I struggle with being sensitive to the feelings of others. I feel that, at one point in my life, I was highly sensitive to how others would react to my actions or simply considerate of what effect my actions would have on another. I don't think I've quite abandoned that mindset, per se, but I believe that somewhere in my desire and growth toward being independent and not allowing others to take advantage of me, I've lost the mindset that my actions are felt by others around me, and can be destructive, even if I don't intend it. This comes into play lately with my attempts at acclimating myself to the idea of graduation and "life after Berry" as if it's somewhere I've been for my entire life. It's the place I've grown up, to say the least. Unfortunately, there are quite a few people and groups from which I'm not entirely ready to flee just yet. Maybe that time will come, but I pray it doesn't. I pray that, instead, these friendships will be some that I keep for a lifetime. They are crucial. God is my core, and they are next. I love them. I definitely appreciate prayer for these upcoming decisions and my current sensitivity to the feelings of those around me concerning it all.
The next few weeks are busy. We are kicking off Relay for Life at Berry next Wednesday which is always an exciting time. I am heading up Team Development again this year with my partner in crime, Hannah. We're excited to work together again and I'm excited to be back in the Relay groove again. This is such a crucial part of me as you can read here. This year, I'm relaying in honor of LaDonna Kersey. She's a sweet woman that has been in and out of my life for as long as I can remember. She is the mother of a young man who played little league baseball with my older brother and the mother of another young man that I was close to in high school. She was diagnosed with cancer in her leg a few years back, went into remission, and the cancer is back again. She is also the mother of another boy who is, if I'm not mistaken, a middle schooler now. Her family is precious and she works as a custodian at my high school. She's an incredible lady with tons of advice and encouragement, even on my worst days.
Among other things, my birthday is next Saturday! I'm excited...for selfish reasons that do not include presents. My best friend planned my birthday this year. I've had absolutely nothing to do with it. Last year I had my first "surprise party" (that I knew about in advance, but that's okay) and it was precious. This year..this year it's relaxing. Close friends, time with my BEST friend, and just an overall incredible time. I'm excited and I've no idea what lies in store. Bring it on. I am so blessed and so thankful for my best friend. Beyond words.
In terms of school, I've got another paper due next week, a Spanish test, and a paper due the week after that. My grades are sufficient and I'm reading much more than I have in the past three years. I was scared that my science class would not fit into my schedule, but due to some last minute changes on the part of the faculty, I will be taking 14 hours next semester. It would be 13, but I'm taking yoga for fun. I've always wanted to and now is definitely the time.
Potentially, I will have two sets of visitors (outside my parents next Sunday) before December comes. My Aunts are both planning visits to good ol' Berry College for a bit. I'm terribly excited. I've only been pleading with them for three years to come. They'll be coming in time, I hope, to see the beautiful trees.
So thankful for my family.
It's been 5 days short of 3 years since my Papa died. I miss him, but I've made it through this fall without breaking down about it. I'm thankful for God's provision in times that seem unbearably dark and inescapable. His mercies are, indeed, new every morning.
I'll leave you with this thought: We have the opportunity to be face-to-face with Yahweh. Moses asked and was denied face-to-face because we cannot handle the shikhinah of the one true God. Paul speaks frequently in 1 Thessalonians about desiring to be face-to-face with other Christians. Jesus was face-to-face with the disciples. Let Him be face-to-face with you. Let everything filter through Him. He is good.