10 April 2011

option #2

I have an entire blog post in my head that's wonderful and centered on two specific verses (or is it four?), but I also have an essay-test to finish before tomorrow so I can finish my t-shirt design by Monday morning.

Now for something completely different...

I've spent the last forty-five minutes writing emails for Relay, checking up on things that need to be checked up on, and mentally prepping for Friday. Game day. Championship. The big kicker. THE day. D-Day. V-Day. Whatever you want to call it. Friday = IT.

I'm terribly excited about the entire thing, but if I think about specific parts, I get that 'deer-in-headlights,' wide-eyed look of anxiety and fear.
I would really prefer NOT to talk in front of hundreds of people at 6pm. I have no idea what I want to say and I'm always so awkward with a microphone in my hand. Pretty sure I will say that - you might want to be there for that show.

The logistics of everything, however, are GREAT. It's coming together. It's wonderful. It will happen. There will be glitches, but we've got an organized, full-proof plan for handling any crisis. Kyley and I will probably sit down and go through every possible scenario. What if the lights go out? What if there's a tornado? Okay, let's not get carried away. There will be a lot of people there to impress. I'm not impressive, but I'll try to be.

I'm worried that I will collapse before the night even starts from exhaustion and brain-overload. I have so much due MONDAY of this week that I'm still working on (see the intro to this poor post) not to mention reading, etc. this week and projects due NEXT week. I have to wrap up my research and legitimately make headway on my paper for art history. I will probably have another essay assignment for my Western Lit class in the next week for our final. I have to creatively decide what to do for TWO final projects - in design and renaissance lit. I have to get ready for Easter festivities at Connect Rome (or decide to go home). I need to talk to Financial Aid AND Residence Life about different things. Susan AND Abigail have birthdays coming up and I have no idea what to get them. Mother's Day is coming up and I probably won't make it home. I need to take my phone to Verizon to get the battery fixed. I need to relax. I have so many questions to ask my bestie about her life.

I seriously don't see how I managed to go to 2 or 3 concerts in APRIL of my freshman year and home every weekend of my sophomore year. What was I thinking? How did I manage that??!

Gosh, but my God is good. This is not a cop-out statement at the end of this post after venting my thoughts about my life right now. I'm being completely real - He has gifted me with so much. I know that time doesn't stop. Sometimes I wish it would slow down or speed up, but I am reassured by God's control in everything and time's continuation. It won't stop and continually repeat a mistake or glitch the night of Relay. It will move on. The valleys happen, the uphill climbs happen, but there is Light. God is good. Darkness may come, but my GOD illuminates my darkness! (Psalm 18:28) <-- this verse has been SUCH a comfort to me in the past week. It's incredible how His light shines even in the darkest of my darkness. David Crowder sang a song called "Shadows" at Passion this year. "When shadows fall on us, we will not fear." What a comfort.

When I'm dark..consumed by darkness and shadow, I will not fear. I'll remember how my God illuminates my darkness and purifies my sin with His Light.

Also, can you help me get this video to any and everyone you know??

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