repost, redefine

A dear friend of mine asked me to write a poem on veils during the fall and I did. I posted it on here and found it again today. The image of rage, power, sacrifice and pure love that tore the curtain separating us from the Holiest of Holies runs through my head often - constantly in the past few days.
The curtain wasn't just torn. We were ruined by ourselves and Adonai wasn't willing to live without us forever.
Does your love fight like that? For friends, for family?
If you are arguing with your friends, are you willing to live without them forever? If you know your family members don't know the love of God, are you willing to live without them?
Or will you fight for them..?
This whole idea reminds me of another poem I wrote called "what kind of love.."
I will post both of them below:

Veils


Solomon created a temple
extravagant and dedicated to the One above
Inside was a veil
of purples, blues, golds, and riches
This curtain of time separated
the presence of the Holiest
from the bloodstained lives of those who worshiped.

Jesus came speaking peace, changing pagan rules.
He crossed the great divide
and conquered it all.
He taught intimacy and encouraged love.
When the last breath escaped
the battered body of an innocent lamb
all limitations were lost.

His body is our bridge
over an ancient chasm.
The veil was torn as He won the battle
and we were set free..
who am I to be scared or fear?
He gave me all of Him
I will give Him all of me.

What could separate us, the psalmist says,
What veil have I hung
to remove Him and bring distance once again?
I am unworthy, but He said He loved enough
to want all or nothing
What is this veil that withholds me
from the flood of His grace and mercy,
from the full divine presence of my Lord?!

[He asked for all or nothing
but what am I willing to give?
which parts will I hoard?
and what reason have I not to trust?]

--
What Kind of Love

that associates with

the filth on your shoe

that loves the dirt you tirelessly

try to rend from your body

that speaks into motion the very heart

you call your own

that watches painfully as you tear yourself away,

rejecting...

that asks little of you and yet you give

deceit, distrust, abandonment

to what you've only ever known

to follow your own mental lusts and desires.

He said He'd walk through fire

would your love?




--------


edit...30 minutes later
And wow - God just brought it full circle.
I don't know how many of you have heard the podcast by Louie Giglio from the release of Awakening in early March. If you haven't - please listen...I am going to do a poor, poor job of summing it up...but it involves veils...and that torn curtain...at least it did when I was emailing Josh about it a few moments ago.


Louie Giglio spoke that night and really hit home a lot of what was said at Passion about trading in something small - our lives - for something huge - God's will. period. Not simply for our lives, but His will overall. In everything. He also talked about how we love to be in the presence of God in situations like Passion - to just stay there. Not that being in God's presence is bad, but it's like they hoard it. Stay there until they suffocate. Other people are so against the idea of 'religion' that they don't see the 'relationship' and they just run wild. Some people who have experience the glory of God

 - who've been inside the Holiest of Holies past the torn curtain that separated us for so long - run back into the world wanting to show others, but end up being OF the world again...they aren't changed. So those around them say, "well, you went in there. you didn't change. so there's no reason for me to go in there." 

But there's a third set of people...They are called doorholders. They have been behind that curtain and have experienced the true presence of the Holy Spirit, but they choose to hold the door open - to hold back the curtain - so that other people can come in and experience. They are inviting. They are smiling, welcoming, and not judgmental when people approach the door. They greet them, smile, and say, "come on in." 

Dooholders hold back that curtain of time that separates us...they get rid of obstructions, obstacles, discriminations, and distractions....to allow others into the presence of Adonai.

wow.

givepeoplethebird.com

First of all, happy birthday to Connect Rome today and tomorrow. It's incredible what the Lord has done in Rome through this congregation and the people who are so involved in it. I am thankful to be part of it and hope to be more involved in the future.

These people are selfish - they are selfish for the kingdom of God. They will not stop until they have pushed every distraction, every steryotype, every fear tactic of 'the church' today, and every possible obstacle out of the way so that people can meet with God unhindered.

I went on a whim with Abigail back in August and have really just been moved every Sunday since. Even simply reading Josh's tweets and blog change the way you think.

They are such a true example of what it means to be Peter and step out on FAITH. God called each of them from separate lives and backgrounds and brought them together - He called them out and WOKE THEM UP to their place in His body. God said start a church and with no money, no meeting place, and no logical hope, they did - first in a bar...where they met for free by the grace of God. Weeks later they opened a coffee shop - NON-PROFIT - every single bit of that money goes back to the community. Then, God said move. They did - to their new location in the mall. The money was provided for them to renovate the 'church part,' the 'coffee part,' and the 'kids part.' - for ALL of that. Now, God has called for them to reach out...outside of Rome - to places like Haiti and Mexico. Hence the opening of CRO (Connect Rome Outfitters) this Thursday. In the works for the next year are possibly a return to the bar as a second location for Sunday nights and a possible prison ministry - not a little Bible study...we're talking full-blown service - on Wednesdays or Thursdays.

One thing I love about Connect Rome is this: Many churches see the great commission as simply a way to get numbers and go into other countries with agendas much like the Catholics who came to the Americas in the 1700s - to convert people. They go with the mindset that they will save people and they will make people turn from paganism to Christianity. They are the kinds of people that give other "followers of the Annointed One" negative images like "Bible thumpers" or "hell fire and brimstone" sorts of people.
God calls us to LOVE. That is all. To LIVE our lives with LOVE. Not love like married people necessarily, but the love of Yeshua.
"Greater love has no man than this: that a man lay down his life for his friends." - John 15:13
Connect Rome helps other people with the Passion of God, but does not force religion down the throats of those they are helping. They love. 

shouldn't we all?

Well, let's just lay it all out there

I have no idea what my purpose is here.
After sixteen straight years, I'm burnt out on school.
I'm an English Literature major with an Art minor.
Planning my classes for each semester is frustrating because it's disorganized. What they offer and when they offer it is entirely mixed up. I pray it fits SOMEONE's schedule easily.
I'm learning a lot and growing a ton more...am I just having growing pains?
I don't think rooming by myself is a good idea, but I really have no other options.
A 7 page rough draft of my research paper is due Friday in Jane Austen.
Transferring schools is even out of the question unless I go to school for an extra year.
Most of my credits won't transfer, leaving me as a sophomore again.
Tomorrow I have an art test.
Mom asked what I want to do after I graduate...and I told her I don't know..I don't care.
Work, of course. I will have to with the responsibilities I have.
I do care; I simply don't have a preference.
If my days could be spent doing Bible study or really just getting in the Word, I'd love it.
I love to share...practically everything that God is doing in my life and all that He shows me.
Rarely do I wait more than an hour after a "wow" moment to tell someone else.
Holding onto that knowledge and truth just seems wrong - I am always bursting so much that I can't NOT say something.
The second part of my Lit. test is Friday.
It's beautiful here...especially when it's warm and I can sit on a blanket outside or go to the Old Mill.
Most of my friends are studying abroad next year, leaving me here.
Father, do you have purpose in my being alone again? I know You are always with me..
I feel a tug on my heart to be in Rome and to be in middle Georgia.
Huge tugs..in both directions.
I want to be closer to Macon, to NA and the congregation, to my family and my Riley who is growing up so fast, but I'm fearful that it's not time yet...
that my going back now will only mess things up.
Yet, staying here doesn't quite satisfy

something inside of us always longs for eternity.
sometimes we are walking blindfolded to prove our faith.
somewhere there is a door that is open with light shining through.
somehow He'll get me there.

Psalm 1:3

I am completely fascinated with trees and have been for as long as I can remember. There is something purely poetic about them that captures my senses and I can stand unmoved for hours trying to take in their beauty. The way they twist and turn; how the scraggly, seemingly imperfect branches grow mightily out of the trunk, drawing strength from the base that holds them at varying angles and in varying directions. They may stand upright in power or lean majestically. Trunks may curve or bend to dodge obstructions from the Sun. Limbs may branch off at any moment in all directions, soon to have smaller branches coming from them, reaching still higher.
The leaves, oh, the leaves themselves are a whole new story completely! They hang with dignity from the ends of the branches capturing ray upon ray of sun, drop after drop of sweet rain. Each leaf is new—none are the same shape or size or color. While they flow with the breeze or bounce with each raindrop that hits their surface, they are strong and do not fall until their time has come. The leaves are reaching--like a child on its tiptoes--straining, stretching toward the sun to soak up just a little more of its radiance. Their colors change in the splendid fashion, again, each unique in color.
What really amazes me is the spiritual symbolism that trees represent. Trees are mentioned often in the Bible—Psalm 1, Matthew 13 and 15, Luke 21, Revelation 22.
Jesus says that He is the vine and we are the branches. We draw our strength from Him. Our ability to weather the elements and our source of sustenance come from Him! We are the contorted, flawed branches that are reaching out to the rest of the world.
Though the limbs, when not attached to the tree, seem long and awkwardly gnarled in different ways, they are perfect when part of the whole. We are each one significant part of the body of Christ. We can’t function alone, but when we are together, we make something great.
The lives of trees represent, in so many ways, the life we live physically and spiritually. There is the obvious birth, growth, and demise represented by the change of the leaves as seasons go by, but think about this:: Have you ever seen a baby tree—one maybe only a few inches high that my mother would fondly call a ‘charlie brown tree?’ The bark is smooth, the leaves small and delicate…easily broken by things bigger and stronger, yet still persistent and standing confidently. I don’t know how many of you are around little kids, but they are similar. Older trees are wiser—the storms they’ve weathered and the rain they’ve used to grow shows easily through their size and the rings that are found in their trunks. The bark, though rough and ostensibly ugly, only adds to their stately appearance. Spiritually, we are somewhat weak in our beginnings, but as time goes on our faith grows and we are stronger and more knowledgeable in the Word. It is harder to bend and break us. The storms of life that may come have to be that much stronger to knock us down for we have found strength in something that is not easily swayed.
For as we grow…our roots dig deeper and deeper. With each storm, our roots spread a little farther and hold a little tighter. As we are faced with trials in our lives, we dig deeper in God’s Word, drawing strength from promise after promise in every scripture. However, if we don’t we are weak and easily blown with the wind. If you’re ever in a storm outside, stop and take a look at the trees. The ones that are alone generally will sway more than those that are in groups. Surround yourself with friends of like faith. They will strengthen you in the storms that you go through in life. They will lift you up to the Lord in your struggles and will celebrate and praise the Lord with you. They will be your shoulder to lean on when you need it, an ear to listen when you just need to vent, and a source of great encouragement…this I know from experience. I have been blessed with incredible friends throughout my life—some that are no longer in my life and some that I pray will stay forever. There’s just a different sort of feeling to be with friends who share your same faith in the Lord. They touch your heart like other friends just can’t. The Bible says that where two or three are gathered, the Lord will be there in the midst. Just think about that one.
Trees also bear fruit in due season – bananas, apples, pears, acorns, pecans, and so forth – and are known by what fruits they produce. We also are known by our fruits, our actions. We are associated with the Lord through our actions. Sure, inward faith is extremely important, but as James says, faith without works is vain.
It’s taken me days to write this note. I have tried many times to put into words my love for trees – their beauty physically and spiritually – but it’s been a task for me. I suspect I could spend weeks, months, years writing on my love for trees and my love for my Savior who has created them. It takes me a while to get where I'm going sometimes because I’m just fascinated by the trees—the shelter they provide, the beauty they bring to the area….the ones that lean… I like the ones that lean. They’ve got that much more soul. ;)

:edit: (23 March 2010)
about trees in groups - it is also an interesting parallel how Matthew 18:20 says where two or three are gathered in the name of the Lord, HE is in the midst ... kind of like those trees - regardless of the overflowing joys or the storm that may be raging...if we stand together HE is with us, protecting us and strengthening us.
Also, a note on the cross as a tree here

class registration

Wow. There is not a bigger pain in my left kidney than class registration / advisement.
It's crammed.
They don't tell you about it until it's about to bite you in the knee-pit.

After much deliberation...this is what next semester is looking like:

M/W/F:
1. Intro to Lit Studies 11-11:50 (this is hard..I dropped it once before)
2. Old Testament 1-1:50 (put ya game face on)
3. Shakespeare 2-3:15 (it's required.)

T/H:
4. Astronomy 9:30-10:45 (with mere. hard, but I need a science..and this is it)
5. Throwing Clay 1-2:30 (I wanted to do hand, but it didn't fit..like painting didn't fit)

that's 16 hours. I may do raquetball...T/H 12:30-1:45. which would be 17 hours and raquetball would end in October, thank the Lord!

needless to say, I am exhausted. My bed is covered with papers and notebooks. My 7 page research essay rough draft (due by Friday, mind you) has not been started outside of a little research today. I have a Lit test tomorrow that I has barely had a thought and I have homework for my writing class that has yet to be touched.
but I have been doing stuff all night!
I'd love for summer to come a little quicker, however....that would mean less time for me to finish all of this stuff. boy oh boy.

snow what?!

Saturday: sunshine, flip-flops, no jacket whatsoever.
Monday: snow in Rome.
what IS this?! It's supposed to be warm again by Wednesday. I can't wait.

The real reason for this post has nothing to do with snow or sunshine, though.
I was listening to the radio on the way to Kroger after my Relay for Life meeting around 6:30. The song was "Grace Flows Down" by Christy Nockels - not one you hear on the radio every day to say the least. It's short so here are the lyrics:


Amazing Grace
How sweet the sound
Amazing Love
Now flowing down
From hands and feet
That were nailed to the tree
As Grace flows down and covers me
It covers me
It covers me
It covers me
And covers me

The part about the tree caught my attention. I'm sure this doesn't surprise you.  
I was floored.
Think about this:

Yeshua died on a cross. This cross was created from a tree...a tree that was once alive but was killed. Yeshua was stretched across it - arms raised high, feet straight down - covering this tree. 

Throughout the scriptures Israel, Adonai's people, are referred to as trees - references including but not limited to Mark 8:24, Isaiah 55:12, and most notably Psalm 1:3. If you think about trees, there are so many symbols of US that they represent. I think I've explained some of what I've come to realize about that already. (It may be on Facebook. I will find it and attach it). [Edit: tree note on facebook]

Do you see how this ties in, though?

Yeshua died on a tree...He died COVERING a tree. He is OUR covering...He was the spotless sacrifice for our sin. The wages of sin is death. We, being dead, were covered by His grace...from fingertip to fingertip...from head to bloody toe. He stretched out Himself to cover us...to protect us...to save us.


wow.

Spring Break

What a week.

good times. bad times. fights. laughter. I don't think you could find a more mixed up week, especially coming off of last week being as stressful as it was.

still have homework, of course, that I put off stupidly and will have to finish all of tomorrow. looks like my day will be spent on the road and in the books.

tonight broke me, though.
one hundred percent broken.