26 January 2010

today's song of choice

almost like a weapon of choice - hah!!

I realized last night that I haven't listened to secular music at all since before leaving for break....and last night was the first time (besides listening to that BLG song in the car with Jules when the Jesus station went out).

BUT lately I have also been struggling a little - at night especially, but sometimes in the mornings. I've had weird dreams and slept soundly, but restlessly, and my spirit is just heavy some days. Two nights this week Satan has tried to tell me I'm doing the wrong thing...that I was standing on nothing for 20 years and I'm still standing on nothing...that there IS nothing to stand on - there is only sinking.
to that I say "if His grace is an ocean, we're all sinking." So, gladly, mister satan, will I sink in Adonai's grace!!

Anyway, this morning I decided to pull out the handy iPod while walking to class...since I pulled it out for a listen last night so as not to disturb my dear roommate with my loud obnoxious music (she actually tried talking to me and I didn't hear her - such a hilarious moment for us teehee).
Back to my story - this morning, one of the first songs that played was "Cling To The Call" by John Waller. Here are the lyrics::

I was walking on water just a week ago
Not a care in the world even a day ago
Not sure what happened but all of the sudden
I saw the crashing waves all around me
And once again I had to choose
To put my eyes back on You
My eyes back on You

And You said...
Cling to the call
Cling to the peace that guards your heart
Cling to the promise
Though you stumble you won't fall
I will uphold you now just trust me with all
Just look at me and I will lead you as you
Cling to the call

I could stand without wavering just an hour ago
I could not deny You even a moment ago
Not sure what happened but three times denied You
And once again I've gotta choose
To put my eyes back on You
My eyes back on You

Now once again
I trust You're leading me
I choose to lean not
On my understanding, Lord
And I will sing as I cling…

and this is John Waller's story behind said song according to
"The revelation in my songs has always preceded where I am in life. I wrote “Cling to the Call” while we were getting ready to move back to Georgia from Colorado. At the time, we didn’t know what we were going to do in Georgia, and didn’t even have a concrete place to live. Plus, we didn’t have the money to move across the country. But we knew we were called to do it, so all we could do was cling to Him. Some people think that clinging to the call means you are called to a specific task and you must cling to that thing. But the task changes. You may not be doing the same thing five years from now. Instead, we are called to cling to Him. We are called to know him." - John Waller

HOW THIS SPEAKS TO MY HEART!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have been so incredibly focused on the Lord lately - from the time I was home for break to Passion to the first week here, but even when I got back, I felt like I was so easily swayed from looking at Him!!!! Even this week! I will study and be in the word, then all of a sudden lose it. Satan loves to attack, but praise Adonai for His call!! His plan is infallible!

I'd write more, but it's time to leave work. :) PG!

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