05 September 2009

some things change

I feel like God is leading me into such a new place these days. It's confusing and different. My feelings are changing, my reactions are changing. It's all changing.

I feel like I'm getting mixed signals about going to GCSU in the spring. I can't quite make out what God's leading me into. I'm scared of making the wrong decision and scared that I'm not listening to the voice I should be listening to. In another light, I'm worried that things might change once again and I really am supposed to stay where I'm at, making my previous statements to many people false. What does that make me? A liar?

I should probably be writing this in my journal and not on my blog - for those of you who happen to have access to read.

and so words come..


what you see is peace
but all I feel is distraction
nothing here is what it seems
I am always turning around
searching, running, never focusing
constantly seeking and never finding.
this heart churns faster - beating, crashing
oceans, mountains,
spinning breaths of smoke surround me.
where are you?

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