sad sophomore eyes

I'm trying not to miss you
by busying myself
and thinking of something else
but all the while I'm wishing..
wishing you were here
to make this easier
and make me laugh
to grab the ranch
and be my constant friend

But times are changing
and I will not let these tears fall.
for now I will swallow my fears
and smile at what seems so unclear
until the time I see you again,
which I will cherish
like every fleeting memory of times passed,
when i will truly smile inside and out,
while praying that the end may never show its face.

hearts and stars

This week has been crazy and I can't believe it's over already..
I love weekends, but when I get to them, I feel like everything has been so rushed sometimes. This, particularly, is one of those weeks. Maybe it's because of the rain. It tends to make me itch to move and do.

Honestly, so much has happened this week.

Jen, Amber, and I managed to find 150 people in the southeast that would come to see Sam Bradley if he played in Georgia. 150 people. That's a bunch in one week.
I've also admitted a lot of things that I would never have admitted to myself before this week. Why this week? I don't really know. It's harder to admit things when they overwhelm you; this I know. Some things just slip out, regardless of your willingness to disclose that information.
Vague, I know. Blame it on Houser for telling me I was the queen of it.
I'm ever closer to finishing my notebook and will soon need another. I found some leather-bound ones at Walmart the other day but all the had was pink and black. Neither of those colors appeal to me right now.I feel like God has always lead me to my others, so I expect no different this time.
I have a spiral bound one here, but I don't want to use it. There are words written on its cover that seem hollow and vacant. It would probably be better off burnt.

Besides this, I've learned five chords on guitar [thanks to Adam] and I'm working on callouses. I think I have a few starting to form, which I'm entirely too excited about. I might be the most practicing student ever!
It would be amazing to pick up an instrument and know how to play it, but I don't mind the work for now. :)


My sister is amazing. She is a blessing from the one MOST amazing - my Father in heaven.

"Live In Me"

Jennifer - if you haven't checked Facebook yet, don't read this. Go there, read my comment, do what it says, talk to me, then read this. :D




I have this friend that I've known for four years now. We spent so many summers listening to Boys Like Girls, Cartel, Relient K, and Hawk Nelson together. We fought like cats and made more brownies than should be legally allowed in the state of Georgia. She was one of the first people who understood my upbringing and could out-wit me when it came to knowing hymns. She understood what it meant to grow up in a strict Christian household under almost ridiculous standards at times, not to sound disrespectful.
We were introduced by a mutual Literature teacher of ours and were inseparable for two years of high school. We stayed up until all hours of the night coloring with our crayons and writing. She played piano and we had long conversations that we probably had no business having with people on Myspace about theological and psychological things we didn't understand.
During these few short years, she became part of my family. My grandparents knew her by name and face. My parents called her their own, and she was overly familiar with everything good and bad that accompanies the Barrons.
When I left for college we had a pretty fight that left us without talking for many months, during which we both grew tremendously in the Lord.
While I don't think Anne and Diana ever truly stopped talking in L. M. Montgomery's books, they did have a few hiccups here and there. :)

Needless to say, we've both watched and helped each other grow over these four short, yet incredibly long years. And I am so proud of her. She has an incredible heart for the Lord, though she is not perfect.
I can still listen to her sing day and night and be perfectly content. We definitely aren't as close as we once were, but she is still a special part of my life. She always will be.

Now, for what brought this on.
Her dad had a heart attack last week that gave her quite a scare. I'm not going to lie, I was scared myself. [He's fine, by the mercy of the Lord! :)] And I got to spend basically two days with her just hanging out late last week. We talked and caught up and remembered crazy things.
She let me listen to a hard-copy of the song she'd written a while back [I'd heard it before, but it had been...at least six months but most likely more than that since I'd first heard her play it]. She recorded it with the help of some of her friends in Macon. I immediately started singing along because I knew the words. They'd stuck with me. The song held such significance...when I close my eyes and listen to it, even now, I see the past four years and how we have changed - how God is living in her more and more, and consequently how He has changed my life in an extraordinary way.
I am just so thankful for God's hand in both of our lives and how we've grown so much and changed..but still remained friends.
I cannot count her as a friend who, with distance, I have lost. No, we are still very much friends. :)
You can listen to her song here:
Studio Seven Myspace


All of this brings me to an even deeper point - I have been blessed to overflowing by God. He has given me the best friends anyone could possibly wish for in their wildest dreams.
I could go on for days because words will never express how much I love my friends...but I won't.
I will just say that if I needed them, they would each be here in a short amount of time...even if they had prior commitments.
Dear Jennifer - thanks for showing me that friends are supposed to accept you for who you are, but sisters are meant to tease you about it. :) heart