Academically this has been my best semester at Berry. I aced all of my classes except one of my three writing intensive literature classes (but I got a B, so that's still acceptable). On all other fronts, it's been four months of stretching. God has pushed my comfort zone beyond what I thought was possible and it's left me feeling a little homeless. Last Friday night, while my senior friends were going out to celebrate Kaf's graduation the next day, I carried my belongings by the armload (a quarter of it) across campus (about 100 yards) to my 'new' room that I will be moving out of on May 5 (move #8 in 3.5 years). Needless to say, I sat down and cried after my fifth or sixth trip. I've never felt so homeless in my entire life, but my best friend showed me that where I am or who I am with does not determine my home. What matters is whether or not I'm living where and with whom God wants me. The rest is just doubt.
His ways are higher.
Showing posts with label home. Show all posts
Showing posts with label home. Show all posts
12 December 2011
01 March 2010
"And if our God is for us..."
What a weekend.
traffic to Macon was ridiculous - a 2 hour drive took 4. My back was aching, my toes cramping, and my tummy rumbling. After finally dropping Jorg with Sierra and meeting Nan, we shopped for what seemed like an eternity though it wasn't long at all. Food came later as did decorating for Purim with Seth and Zach. My head started to explode so I slept while they figured out the logistics of it all. After lots of "fluffing" from Seth, we left. Bev drove us to Bentley who we dropped off at the Butlers. Then Nan and I were on our way home. Sleep didn't come until around 2 and the sun rose at 6am for us. We were out of the house Saturday morning by 7:30 and had visited two walmarts, target, party city, and mcdonalds by 9:30. The rest of the morning was a tizzy. We were setting up, gathering food, arranging table clothes, and making puppy chow. Ashley was there. The beloved Butlers were also running around with us- how grand to see their faces! We, unfortunately, didn't do Liturgy - basically my favorite thing ever - and the boys did not play because Ted Pearce came to speak/lead worship. He was grand, but not as grand as CoH. It was still a blessing to see God move...to see the joy that He brings. I couldn't stop smiling the entire time! I gave Sensei his picture - "Ninja Convention" - and he loved it. It glows in the dark. my Hannah was the recipient of the rope picture - "A three chorded strand is not easily broken" - because it so very specifically describes our friendship from its very beginning five years ago! The Purim feast for the children was grand. Nan's decorations were fantastic. The food was grand, except for the famine of chicken nuggets due to a slight annoyance. However, my Hannah showed her heart to those people. They cannot question her motives. Seth was even complimented by Scott Bombard for his impeccable fluffing abilities. I shared a few chicken nuggets with him. ZachE and I took turns carrying Hosanna, Hannah's lamb, around. She's a presh lamb.
We finally finished around 3 and went home to nap. Our presence had been requested at the Butlers for a movie night starting at 8. Of course we didn't wake up until after 7. Jonathan was being loud and obnoxious, not heeding cries for a bit of quiet, which only led to my foul mood for part of the evening. When we arrived, I was surprised and incredibly joyful to find that Cheryl had bought me a Bible!! How cool!! I've needed one - the one I've had for five years (the entirety of my friendship with Nan) has been falling apart for some time. It's beautiful and holds so much, but sometimes change is needed. It has the most beautiful cover - brown and maroon with a cool design! Leather, of course, and just grand. My first Bible NOT in KJV. New start? yes. Now, I am the proud owner of a beautiful journal given to me by my beautiful Diana and a Bible from dear Cheryl! I am so blessed. Literally...my heart is gushing.
Saturday night's movie selection included One Night With The King and some pizza - n.o.m. It didn't make me sick. :) I love watching movies with friends. To most it seems like a pointless event where you learn nothing about your friends and aren't able to talk to them, therefore making it the least amount of fun. I disagree. The not talking is only leaving room for your hearts to talk. I'm convinced they do while we are simply sitting. It is good to just be in the presence of such great people - to know that they love you - to sit beside them and close your eyes and still know they are there. Maybe it's just a pat on the back or a smile, but it's more important than the words you could speak. We ended up staying to watch videos Seth had made - hilarious if I do say so myself - and just talking. It was beautiful fun. Quality time at its greatest. "Those Nights" by Skillet does a good job of emphasizing their importance. :) Finally we were on our way home. We slept well into the afternoon - 1pm! Our intentions were to be back in Macon at NA around 5 for the "college & singles" ice cream social. Somehow we ran late. Hannah needed to be there at 4, but I'm sure we didn't leave the house until well after 4. After grabbing my car, topped by Gary (Seth's cat), we booked it to NA and made it in the nick of time where Seth threw erasers at me (that started Friday night). The boys played some pretty incredible worship. Two of my favorite songs - Our God is Greater and How He Loves - were in the mix. What a joy to hear them in person instead of on the phone this time!! We watched Louie Giglio's "Fruitcake and Ice cream" and I just cried. There were so many references to places and people in my life. I was, and still am, struggling with school. I know there is purpose right now, but for how long? Yet to ask God to put a time frame on something is ridiculous. Waiting is key - see John Waller's "While I'm Waiting."
Leaving was hard - it gets harder every time. Thankfully I cried enough during Louie's talk that my tears were gone by the time I left...or at least far enough back in there that I could hold on to them. Mrs Cheryl hugged me tons before I left, which was the perfect medicine for a heart with so many pieces in so many places. She's just beautiful! If you don't know her, you're missing out. I promise. So I hugged all the boys, Laila (new frann!-Hannah has talked so much about her) and my Diana one last time....and jumped in Ben and ran away to Riverside to grab Jorg. It only took us 2 hours to get home- a record considering Friday's trek to Macon took so long.
And here I sit....unable to concentrate on an essay rough draft because thoughts from this weekend are running through my head like three or four different rivers.
Maybe I will do it in the morning.
I will sleep tonight...peacefully. Yeshua and I have so much to talk about - my family is so incredible. What a blessing to finally be part of a family who wants nothing more than to follow hard after the Lord.
What a blessing to have a Diana...MY Diana!
traffic to Macon was ridiculous - a 2 hour drive took 4. My back was aching, my toes cramping, and my tummy rumbling. After finally dropping Jorg with Sierra and meeting Nan, we shopped for what seemed like an eternity though it wasn't long at all. Food came later as did decorating for Purim with Seth and Zach. My head started to explode so I slept while they figured out the logistics of it all. After lots of "fluffing" from Seth, we left. Bev drove us to Bentley who we dropped off at the Butlers. Then Nan and I were on our way home. Sleep didn't come until around 2 and the sun rose at 6am for us. We were out of the house Saturday morning by 7:30 and had visited two walmarts, target, party city, and mcdonalds by 9:30. The rest of the morning was a tizzy. We were setting up, gathering food, arranging table clothes, and making puppy chow. Ashley was there. The beloved Butlers were also running around with us- how grand to see their faces! We, unfortunately, didn't do Liturgy - basically my favorite thing ever - and the boys did not play because Ted Pearce came to speak/lead worship. He was grand, but not as grand as CoH. It was still a blessing to see God move...to see the joy that He brings. I couldn't stop smiling the entire time! I gave Sensei his picture - "Ninja Convention" - and he loved it. It glows in the dark. my Hannah was the recipient of the rope picture - "A three chorded strand is not easily broken" - because it so very specifically describes our friendship from its very beginning five years ago! The Purim feast for the children was grand. Nan's decorations were fantastic. The food was grand, except for the famine of chicken nuggets due to a slight annoyance. However, my Hannah showed her heart to those people. They cannot question her motives. Seth was even complimented by Scott Bombard for his impeccable fluffing abilities. I shared a few chicken nuggets with him. ZachE and I took turns carrying Hosanna, Hannah's lamb, around. She's a presh lamb.
We finally finished around 3 and went home to nap. Our presence had been requested at the Butlers for a movie night starting at 8. Of course we didn't wake up until after 7. Jonathan was being loud and obnoxious, not heeding cries for a bit of quiet, which only led to my foul mood for part of the evening. When we arrived, I was surprised and incredibly joyful to find that Cheryl had bought me a Bible!! How cool!! I've needed one - the one I've had for five years (the entirety of my friendship with Nan) has been falling apart for some time. It's beautiful and holds so much, but sometimes change is needed. It has the most beautiful cover - brown and maroon with a cool design! Leather, of course, and just grand. My first Bible NOT in KJV. New start? yes. Now, I am the proud owner of a beautiful journal given to me by my beautiful Diana and a Bible from dear Cheryl! I am so blessed. Literally...my heart is gushing.
Saturday night's movie selection included One Night With The King and some pizza - n.o.m. It didn't make me sick. :) I love watching movies with friends. To most it seems like a pointless event where you learn nothing about your friends and aren't able to talk to them, therefore making it the least amount of fun. I disagree. The not talking is only leaving room for your hearts to talk. I'm convinced they do while we are simply sitting. It is good to just be in the presence of such great people - to know that they love you - to sit beside them and close your eyes and still know they are there. Maybe it's just a pat on the back or a smile, but it's more important than the words you could speak. We ended up staying to watch videos Seth had made - hilarious if I do say so myself - and just talking. It was beautiful fun. Quality time at its greatest. "Those Nights" by Skillet does a good job of emphasizing their importance. :) Finally we were on our way home. We slept well into the afternoon - 1pm! Our intentions were to be back in Macon at NA around 5 for the "college & singles" ice cream social. Somehow we ran late. Hannah needed to be there at 4, but I'm sure we didn't leave the house until well after 4. After grabbing my car, topped by Gary (Seth's cat), we booked it to NA and made it in the nick of time where Seth threw erasers at me (that started Friday night). The boys played some pretty incredible worship. Two of my favorite songs - Our God is Greater and How He Loves - were in the mix. What a joy to hear them in person instead of on the phone this time!! We watched Louie Giglio's "Fruitcake and Ice cream" and I just cried. There were so many references to places and people in my life. I was, and still am, struggling with school. I know there is purpose right now, but for how long? Yet to ask God to put a time frame on something is ridiculous. Waiting is key - see John Waller's "While I'm Waiting."
Leaving was hard - it gets harder every time. Thankfully I cried enough during Louie's talk that my tears were gone by the time I left...or at least far enough back in there that I could hold on to them. Mrs Cheryl hugged me tons before I left, which was the perfect medicine for a heart with so many pieces in so many places. She's just beautiful! If you don't know her, you're missing out. I promise. So I hugged all the boys, Laila (new frann!-Hannah has talked so much about her) and my Diana one last time....and jumped in Ben and ran away to Riverside to grab Jorg. It only took us 2 hours to get home- a record considering Friday's trek to Macon took so long.
And here I sit....unable to concentrate on an essay rough draft because thoughts from this weekend are running through my head like three or four different rivers.
Maybe I will do it in the morning.
I will sleep tonight...peacefully. Yeshua and I have so much to talk about - my family is so incredible. What a blessing to finally be part of a family who wants nothing more than to follow hard after the Lord.
What a blessing to have a Diana...MY Diana!
07 February 2010
It's official
No discount on the Beth Moore Patriarchs books, but that's okay. Adonai has worked this all out so far. I trust Him with the rest. :)
Going home is so much fun. I enjoy spending time with Hanah and y family and friends so much. It's grand. Cai, new friend, was great. He's not a new friend though. He knows so much about me already because of our obnoxiously long facebook message started about three years ago! hahaha We are crazy indeed.
Zach's last regular season game was Friday night - they won.
The boys of COH played at the 567 Friday night and did such a wonderful job. They have an anointing for worship. It was incredible. I can't wait to hear them play more!!! Saturday's service was grand. :) Worship was grand - Damien has a way of putting the songs together that just makes the whole experience phenomenal. I got to see my Amen Sista - Jenn!! TOO much fun...definitely missed her a lot! There were lots of faces there. It was so good to see so many people there to worship the Lord! Nan does so well with the kids too. They love her. :) The little girls did a dance that was absolutely beautiful and practically had me in tears. It was all about their worth in the Lord....and how he actively pursues them. It was just beautiful. Game night Saturday night was fantastical as well. We watched Medea's Family Reunion and it cracked me up, made me angry, and almost had me in tears. I guess that's a sign of a good movie......but at the same time it was a little slow and annoying.
Waking up so early to come back to school was gross. I wish I could've slept the whole day- which I did when I got here. A 4 hour nap was necessary.
I want to go to Israel. I want to learn Hebrew. I want to spend all of my time just researching and learning and doing.
I wonder if I can study abroad in Jerusalem....that would be exciting.
my headache and stomach ache are on and off. I wish they would both go away.
I have an essay to write! The superbowl is on!
I love that Adonai assures us that our walk with Him will not be easy, but regardless, He has provided an escape and THE Way to make it through. We must trust and inevitably we will feel like we're walking on nothing, but truth is we are walking on the most solid, holy ground.
He told Moses to take his sandals off...he was walking on holy ground in the presence of Adonai.
Going home is so much fun. I enjoy spending time with Hanah and y family and friends so much. It's grand. Cai, new friend, was great. He's not a new friend though. He knows so much about me already because of our obnoxiously long facebook message started about three years ago! hahaha We are crazy indeed.
Zach's last regular season game was Friday night - they won.
The boys of COH played at the 567 Friday night and did such a wonderful job. They have an anointing for worship. It was incredible. I can't wait to hear them play more!!! Saturday's service was grand. :) Worship was grand - Damien has a way of putting the songs together that just makes the whole experience phenomenal. I got to see my Amen Sista - Jenn!! TOO much fun...definitely missed her a lot! There were lots of faces there. It was so good to see so many people there to worship the Lord! Nan does so well with the kids too. They love her. :) The little girls did a dance that was absolutely beautiful and practically had me in tears. It was all about their worth in the Lord....and how he actively pursues them. It was just beautiful. Game night Saturday night was fantastical as well. We watched Medea's Family Reunion and it cracked me up, made me angry, and almost had me in tears. I guess that's a sign of a good movie......but at the same time it was a little slow and annoying.
Waking up so early to come back to school was gross. I wish I could've slept the whole day- which I did when I got here. A 4 hour nap was necessary.
I want to go to Israel. I want to learn Hebrew. I want to spend all of my time just researching and learning and doing.
I wonder if I can study abroad in Jerusalem....that would be exciting.
my headache and stomach ache are on and off. I wish they would both go away.
I have an essay to write! The superbowl is on!
I love that Adonai assures us that our walk with Him will not be easy, but regardless, He has provided an escape and THE Way to make it through. We must trust and inevitably we will feel like we're walking on nothing, but truth is we are walking on the most solid, holy ground.
He told Moses to take his sandals off...he was walking on holy ground in the presence of Adonai.
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