In 1 Corinthians Paul tells the church in Corinth that love never fails and doesn't stop. Love is eternal and without blemish.
In Psalm 145, David sings praises of the Lord being slow to anger, abounding in love, and good to all.
After reading 1 Corinthians 13 tonight at Ashton's house, I was truly convicted in my heart. I realized that I don't put love at the forefront of all my relationships. Just reading that one chapter convicted me to an extent that I cannot describe. I know I wrote a poem not too long ago on the same passage, but I see it in a whole different light right now.
The first few verses describe how one can have talents and be the most incredible person in a worldly sense, but if you don't love...you have nothing.
If you cannot love your enemy as it says in Matthew 5:44, you have nothing. It doesn't matter how many PhD's you have or where you went to school. Your car and clothes don't matter. Your background means nothing. How nice you are is of no consequence. If you cannot love that one person that you are trying so hard not to hate, you are nothing more than forgotten, as if you had never existed.
He loves us more than there is distance between east and west. I don't even know how to comprehend how far the east is from the west! How can I begin to comprehend His love? I hurt Him on a daily basis by allowing my flesh to overtake my life and actions, and yet He still loves me!
How can I NOT love others in an attempt to be more like Him? How can I refuse that love and refuse to pass it on to others?!
Romans 13:8 says "Owe no man anything, but to love one another: for he that loveth another hath fulfilled the law."
31 May 2009
29 May 2009
crazy friday
today has been insane. My notebook and Bible are in Lauren's car and it's driving me crazy. I need them so much! They're .. my outlet and guidance!
I miss Jennifer more and more everyday! It's crazy :(
Hoffa came to graduation tonight and I got to see her. I was so excited to hang out with her and sit with her and talk to her. She is so precious to me.
And Mrs. Gentry and Mr. Greg. They are so incredible. God blessed me so much when he crossed my path with theirs! they are just phenomenal people and great Christians. I'm so excited to see them some while I'm home for the summer.
Hoffa's moving to England in July but before she goes she'll be back here in Perry for a little while so we're going to have picnics and swing and just be friends...with lots of people. When she moves there, Jenn and I are going to visit her. It's a must. must must.
okay, out with Adam.
I miss Jennifer more and more everyday! It's crazy :(
Hoffa came to graduation tonight and I got to see her. I was so excited to hang out with her and sit with her and talk to her. She is so precious to me.
And Mrs. Gentry and Mr. Greg. They are so incredible. God blessed me so much when he crossed my path with theirs! they are just phenomenal people and great Christians. I'm so excited to see them some while I'm home for the summer.
Hoffa's moving to England in July but before she goes she'll be back here in Perry for a little while so we're going to have picnics and swing and just be friends...with lots of people. When she moves there, Jenn and I are going to visit her. It's a must. must must.
okay, out with Adam.
27 May 2009
turmoil and dirty soil
I've been going crazy trying to make up my mind about so many different things lately. School has been such a burden on my heart. I want so much to be at Berry and I'm so anxious to hear from Financial Aid that it's making my stomach turn. The whole situation with Lauren has been driving me crazy.
Slowly I've been finding peace. My God is so incredible.
There's nothing more I can do about school right now, so I am letting go [let it go - Tenth Avenue North] and just letting God.
A dear friend in the Lord told me tonight that it's possible that my friendship with Lauren has run its course. Does that mean that we aren't friends? No. It merely means that it's not a responsibility, which is not what a friendship is anyway. It means that we aren't close and that's okay. How do I get that across to her, though? The Great Physician always prescribes love. So this is what I am going to follow.
I love having cupcake parties with friends I love so dear. It is such a precious blessing to me to be able to talk to them about any and everything, to laugh and be happy and joyful. I am so thankful for all of them...even the ones that weren't there. They hold such a special place in my heart.
When I listen to worship music...just music proclaiming Jesus Christ...I am overcome with a feeling that I cannot describe. There is something...something in the words and chords and ... there's just something there. I am so in love with my Adonai.
Slowly I've been finding peace. My God is so incredible.
There's nothing more I can do about school right now, so I am letting go [let it go - Tenth Avenue North] and just letting God.
A dear friend in the Lord told me tonight that it's possible that my friendship with Lauren has run its course. Does that mean that we aren't friends? No. It merely means that it's not a responsibility, which is not what a friendship is anyway. It means that we aren't close and that's okay. How do I get that across to her, though? The Great Physician always prescribes love. So this is what I am going to follow.
I love having cupcake parties with friends I love so dear. It is such a precious blessing to me to be able to talk to them about any and everything, to laugh and be happy and joyful. I am so thankful for all of them...even the ones that weren't there. They hold such a special place in my heart.
When I listen to worship music...just music proclaiming Jesus Christ...I am overcome with a feeling that I cannot describe. There is something...something in the words and chords and ... there's just something there. I am so in love with my Adonai.
26 May 2009
Strong Enough - JJ Weeks
I miss seeing JJ Weeks in concert every time I turn around! He's a great artist and has some powerful lyrics. I just 'borrowed' his CDs from my brother and put them on my iTunes.
Now for a few personal notes.
April Thomas, you are my soultwin. I know without any doubt whatsoever that I can come to you with anything and you will be right there. You will college-word anyone who tries to hurt me and will probably punch their faces as well. I know that if I need to get away from my house, you'll be at my house in fifteen minutes and we'll do something. If you can't come, you'll give me incredible advice on how to handle all the bad mojo. We are such different people, but you are so dear to my heart. You are my sister regardless of what any judge would ever say. I've had best friends and "best friends" over the years, but you're legit, kiddo. I wouldn't trade you for anything. And I gotta tell you, I'mma beat the face off of any girl or boy, adult or kid, who tries to hurt you or goes against you. I might be small...but I know big people. :D I love you.
Jessie Faulhaber, you are incredible. I miss you like woah, but that's okay. I hate that money is always an issue in travel and none of us seem to find jobs that can pay for our extravagant dreams of gallivanting cross country to visit. While Virginia isn't far compared to most other places, it's still an issue. Someone wise once told me that distance doesn't matter to true friends, though, because true friends will find a way! You've made me realize how much I really do eat tatertots...because every time I do, I think of you! I love you sweetie and I'm so thankful for you. -Sugar bean :P
Jennifer Parr, bite me. teehee. I love that one of your favorite poets is Cummings. That makes me grin. Can we hurry up? I hate that I miss you so much sometimes. You're a fabulous nanny, I'm sure. And what is it you do on the weekends? Typical. You would. No hands. I love you and your craziness. I love you and your sense of humor, your life, your love. I just love you. :) And I'm thankful for you. Don't kill me too much!!! :D
Now for a few personal notes.
April Thomas, you are my soultwin. I know without any doubt whatsoever that I can come to you with anything and you will be right there. You will college-word anyone who tries to hurt me and will probably punch their faces as well. I know that if I need to get away from my house, you'll be at my house in fifteen minutes and we'll do something. If you can't come, you'll give me incredible advice on how to handle all the bad mojo. We are such different people, but you are so dear to my heart. You are my sister regardless of what any judge would ever say. I've had best friends and "best friends" over the years, but you're legit, kiddo. I wouldn't trade you for anything. And I gotta tell you, I'mma beat the face off of any girl or boy, adult or kid, who tries to hurt you or goes against you. I might be small...but I know big people. :D I love you.
Jessie Faulhaber, you are incredible. I miss you like woah, but that's okay. I hate that money is always an issue in travel and none of us seem to find jobs that can pay for our extravagant dreams of gallivanting cross country to visit. While Virginia isn't far compared to most other places, it's still an issue. Someone wise once told me that distance doesn't matter to true friends, though, because true friends will find a way! You've made me realize how much I really do eat tatertots...because every time I do, I think of you! I love you sweetie and I'm so thankful for you. -Sugar bean :P
Jennifer Parr, bite me. teehee. I love that one of your favorite poets is Cummings. That makes me grin. Can we hurry up? I hate that I miss you so much sometimes. You're a fabulous nanny, I'm sure. And what is it you do on the weekends? Typical. You would. No hands. I love you and your craziness. I love you and your sense of humor, your life, your love. I just love you. :) And I'm thankful for you. Don't kill me too much!!! :D
25 May 2009
soundtrack of my LIFE
'come right out and say it' - relient k
'if i fail' - cartel
'miss berry' - hurricane chris
'bounty of mary jane' - bobby long
'blame it on the alcohol' - jamie foxx
[more soon]
'if i fail' - cartel
'miss berry' - hurricane chris
'bounty of mary jane' - bobby long
'blame it on the alcohol' - jamie foxx
[more soon]
24 May 2009
Dear you
I so despise my passions sometimes. I care so much that I hurt so passionately when others do. I may seem like a passive person at first, but I am known to fly off on you. I will probably hurt you, as forewarning.
I am an instrument, though I often find myself trying to control how I am used. Super woman I am not, though I pretend and love to play dress-up in clothes that do not fit or belong to this mortal balloon of bones.
I question my passions and how much I care. I am also known to not text or call for a little while to make sure I'm not annoying you. I constantly question my actions over and over. I don't want them to be wrong or hurtful. In doing this, I often stumble over my untied shoelaces and find myself face to face with a self destruct button. Don't relieve the pressure or you will surely blow to pieces.
It's hard for me to say the same thing to someone that I've said to someone else, because I'm scared that person will think less of my words because they aren't original. In all actuality, I probably mean it more the second time around than the first. I've learned my lesson.
I wish I could change words - change their significance. I would love to deaden the blow of harsh words that I never meant to say, but I would also love to heighten the emotions you feel when I tell you "I love you." While those words have become such customary baggage in this day and age, with each breath I take, those words take on a more heightened, precious, eloquent, reverent meaning. Telling you that, I'm sure, means nothing. Words are but words and nothing more. No amount of vocal or typographical emphasis will bring any new life to this everyday language we use. Adjectives can help if you have an imagination...and I promise you I have the most captivating imagination.
Dear Father, I pray for a rain down on this beautiful love, a rain of peace and understanding; of patience and trust. It is so hard to trust in this world where our hearts are constantly thrown at a batter with something much sharper than a bat. "Come stop your crying, it will be alright." I know it hurts you more than you are willing to say. How could something so dear not prove an incredible source of pain and confusion? Satan will take us at our weakness. Unfortunately mine is easily found and as raw as these words. I speak of hurt and pain, and yet here I bear my soul to you. Every drop of blood in me is known to you. You are well acquainted with my every nerve and know exactly which will drive me to a happy insanity in your midst.
Lord, peace...only your peace. The peace of an ocean washing away the impurities of the sand, sifting through the grains and taking with it only what does not belong...Father, this peace is nothing compared to the rain you so willingly exude. Your peace is one that will let go of the biggest insecurities and highest heights. All fear is lost in the blowing of the wind. All senses avail you to the utmost. To describe these goosebumps in your presence would be plausible only in eternity.
Father God, with a battered heart we fall at your feet. Your timing is not ours and often we are impatient. Never do we understand; no, not once. Our minds are like that of a toddler. Every time we see your face we are just as excited as the first time. Falling only hurts. We can never understand. Dear Jesus, precious lover of my soul, give us understanding and patience for what you have in store for us. How can we, creations of the Almighty, dare make plans or firm decisions concerning our lives beyond our belief in you? Doing so is only climbing a mountain with no escape from the peak but a sharp cliff and imminent fall.
Adonai, push us to new heights and new confidence shrouded in your beautiful, everlasting arms. Cloak us in nothing but You - the best of all there was, is, will be. Father, give us faith to believe, to grasp hold of your promises and never let go. Father, if we are in you, you will give us the desires of our hearts. This longing is not hear for a reason. Dear Jesus, these dreams and thoughts and heartsongs are not in vain, but rather fit in your will. Show us your way. Mend the busted seams of these hearts.
i love you,
me
"turn around" - josh wilson
"by your side" - tenth avenue north
I am an instrument, though I often find myself trying to control how I am used. Super woman I am not, though I pretend and love to play dress-up in clothes that do not fit or belong to this mortal balloon of bones.
I question my passions and how much I care. I am also known to not text or call for a little while to make sure I'm not annoying you. I constantly question my actions over and over. I don't want them to be wrong or hurtful. In doing this, I often stumble over my untied shoelaces and find myself face to face with a self destruct button. Don't relieve the pressure or you will surely blow to pieces.
It's hard for me to say the same thing to someone that I've said to someone else, because I'm scared that person will think less of my words because they aren't original. In all actuality, I probably mean it more the second time around than the first. I've learned my lesson.
I wish I could change words - change their significance. I would love to deaden the blow of harsh words that I never meant to say, but I would also love to heighten the emotions you feel when I tell you "I love you." While those words have become such customary baggage in this day and age, with each breath I take, those words take on a more heightened, precious, eloquent, reverent meaning. Telling you that, I'm sure, means nothing. Words are but words and nothing more. No amount of vocal or typographical emphasis will bring any new life to this everyday language we use. Adjectives can help if you have an imagination...and I promise you I have the most captivating imagination.
Dear Father, I pray for a rain down on this beautiful love, a rain of peace and understanding; of patience and trust. It is so hard to trust in this world where our hearts are constantly thrown at a batter with something much sharper than a bat. "Come stop your crying, it will be alright." I know it hurts you more than you are willing to say. How could something so dear not prove an incredible source of pain and confusion? Satan will take us at our weakness. Unfortunately mine is easily found and as raw as these words. I speak of hurt and pain, and yet here I bear my soul to you. Every drop of blood in me is known to you. You are well acquainted with my every nerve and know exactly which will drive me to a happy insanity in your midst.
Lord, peace...only your peace. The peace of an ocean washing away the impurities of the sand, sifting through the grains and taking with it only what does not belong...Father, this peace is nothing compared to the rain you so willingly exude. Your peace is one that will let go of the biggest insecurities and highest heights. All fear is lost in the blowing of the wind. All senses avail you to the utmost. To describe these goosebumps in your presence would be plausible only in eternity.
Father God, with a battered heart we fall at your feet. Your timing is not ours and often we are impatient. Never do we understand; no, not once. Our minds are like that of a toddler. Every time we see your face we are just as excited as the first time. Falling only hurts. We can never understand. Dear Jesus, precious lover of my soul, give us understanding and patience for what you have in store for us. How can we, creations of the Almighty, dare make plans or firm decisions concerning our lives beyond our belief in you? Doing so is only climbing a mountain with no escape from the peak but a sharp cliff and imminent fall.
Adonai, push us to new heights and new confidence shrouded in your beautiful, everlasting arms. Cloak us in nothing but You - the best of all there was, is, will be. Father, give us faith to believe, to grasp hold of your promises and never let go. Father, if we are in you, you will give us the desires of our hearts. This longing is not hear for a reason. Dear Jesus, these dreams and thoughts and heartsongs are not in vain, but rather fit in your will. Show us your way. Mend the busted seams of these hearts.
i love you,
me
"turn around" - josh wilson
"by your side" - tenth avenue north
pancakes
boy, I feel sick after eating pancakes. There are some things I just can't handle in large quantities:
-pancakes
-Moe's
Anyway, church was awesome this morning. In Sunday school we talked about the fruits of the spirit and gifts of the spirit. It was just deep and good stuff. I liked it a lot. I got a lot from it. Pastor Jeremy spoke on a verse in 1 Peter about sanctification. He hit on a few key points like the fact that we can't change the world but we can change ourselves and until we are willing to completely submit ourselves to the will of God, there is no way to change anything. We went through a lot of other stuff too but I don't have my notes with me right now.
I really like church.
-pancakes
-Moe's
Anyway, church was awesome this morning. In Sunday school we talked about the fruits of the spirit and gifts of the spirit. It was just deep and good stuff. I liked it a lot. I got a lot from it. Pastor Jeremy spoke on a verse in 1 Peter about sanctification. He hit on a few key points like the fact that we can't change the world but we can change ourselves and until we are willing to completely submit ourselves to the will of God, there is no way to change anything. We went through a lot of other stuff too but I don't have my notes with me right now.
I really like church.
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